


It’s not living (if it’s not with you)

by baekeries



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Eventual Smut, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-24
Updated: 2018-11-26
Packaged: 2019-08-28 17:41:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 27,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16727979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baekeries/pseuds/baekeries
Summary: Jongin comes to realise that sometimes, life is like a movie and you might just fall in love with your pretend boyfriend. But unlike the movies, it isn’t always smooth-sailing—especially for someone as closed off and unsociable as himself.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> **Prompt #:** 28  
>  **Author's Note:** oh my god, I’m finally done with this fic. Thank you so much to the mods for being patient and understanding, I’m sorry for being so annoying! A big thank you to my friends who cheered me on during this trying time (lol I wish I was joking). It was a struggle to finish this but I couldn’t just abandon it, so here you go! Please ignore all scenario inaccuracies as I am not an expert in anything that I've written, only research could help me. I hope you all enjoy!

“You know you’re gonna have to bring a date to your sister’s wedding if you don’t want your extended family setting you up on blind dates,” Jongdae says matter-of-factly. Jongin rolls his eyes at him and presses play on their movie, digging into the bowl of freshly made popcorn.

He’s over at Jongdae’s for a quick catch-up session, the both of them rewatching their favourite dramas together in Jongdae’s room. It’s _Boys Over Flowers_ now and Lee Minho is on the television. Jongdae squeals loudly, kicking his feet in the air when his Prince Charming appears. Jongin winces at the high-pitched sound. He can never get used to that.

“I _know_ ,” Jongin whines, eyes still on the screen, “But I have literally _no one_ to ask. Jongah knows all of my friends, and I don’t trust online dating services.  Also, the curly hair looks terrible on Gu Junpyo.”

Jongdae gasps. “How _dare_ you,” he exclaims, a hand to his chest. “The curly hair is iconic. Anyway, you can hire a date for the wedding,” he suggests. He pops candies into his mouth and offers Jongin a couple, and he declines.

“So Yijung is my favourite,” Jongin sighs dreamily. “Such a mysterious, handsome alpha. Oh, and I don’t have the money to hire a date.”

Jongdae whips his head to face Jongin, mouth hung open mid-chew. Jongin glances at him and snorts at how ridiculous he looks. “What?”

“You, Kim Jongin, don’t have the money? You, heir to oh I don’t know, the biggest company in all of Asia, possibly the world? Your dad literally owns Phasebook. Your mom has her own couture clothing line. Jongah just started her own bakery chain. Your family is _loaded_. And you don’t have the money?”

Jongin shrugs and goes back to watching the show. “That’s an exaggeration. And anyway, you know my parents; their money, not mine until I take over the company. Which I’m not that keen on at the moment,” he casually replies.

“That’s what you say now because you’re comfortable. I give it another 5 years before you decide that it’s what you’re best at,” Jongdae tells him.

Jongin and Jongdae met in middle school. Both of them are omegas, but Jongdae had always been the stronger one between them both—both physically and emotionally. While Jongdae is eager to take over his family’s _chi-maek_ restaurant business, Jongin isn’t that keen on running his family’s company. He wants to be a preschool teacher, like ‘a typical omega’, as Jongdae has dubbed him multiple times.

His parents aren’t adverse to the idea, and they think he should do it if he really wants to, but a part of him feels bad for not helping out with the company. It’s something he thinks about often, always weighing on his mind like a dead weight and refusing to go away. But if he actually takes over the company, the public would probably look down on his family for allowing an omega to do such a thing.

“So, what are you gonna do about that date?”

“I don’t know. I have about two months to think about it since it’s in March,” Jongin mumbles, stuffing his mouth with more popcorn. “I need to make sure the alpha is reliable as well, so honestly… I’m at my wit’s end. I can’t find someone I trust in _two months_.”

“Well you could-” Jongdae starts, but they’re soon interrupted by the rapping on his door. Jongin knows who’s coming. He wills his heart to calm down as Jongdae’s brother sticks his head past the door and grins at them, the wolfish smile making Jongin _literally_ stop breathing for a second there.

Kim Minseok—the alpha Jongin’s been _sort of_  crushing on for the longest time—Jongdae’s elder brother.

It’s not _fair_ , Jongin thinks, that Kim Minseok is such an enticing alpha. He’s handsome, smart, hot, and smells fucking good. He knows Minseok can bag anyone he wants, but Minseok has never brought anyone home as far as Jongin knows. It’s not like he has an actual crush on Minseok anyway—it’s… an eye candy. A celebrity crush of sorts. He just finds Minseok really, really attractive, but he doesn’t plan on acting on it.

“Hi,” Minseok says, standing by the door. “Just checking on you guys like the good, responsible brother I am.”

“You know you don’t actually _have_ to do those nightly patrols mom asks you to do, right?” Jongdae tells him as he rolls his eyes. Jongin fixates his gaze on the TV screen. Gu Junpyo is carrying a flour-covered Geum Jandi away from her bullies, and a lone tear escapes Jongin’s eye. It gets him every time.

“Just looking out for her,” Minseok explains, raising his hands in mock surrender. “Hey, Jongin.”

“H-hi,” Jongin stutters, fighting his blush as he refuses to look at Minseok. And then Jongdae comes up with what Jongin deems the worst idea in the history of mankind.

“Oh my god, I’m a fucking genius. Hyung, Jongin needs a date for his sister’s wedding. You should totally be his,” Jongdae exclaims, tossing his candy to the side. He gets up and pulls Minseok towards them, forcing him down on his bed beside a blushing Jongin. “See, the two of you look cute _and_ believable together. And he’s an alpha you trust, right Nini? This is perfect.”

“No what the fuck, Jongdae!” Jongin curses, pausing the show. Minseok _has_ crossed his mind, but Jongin can’t bring himself to ask the alpha for help when they aren’t _that_ close in Jongin’s books. Besides, he wasn’t sure what Jongdae would think, but he knows now. “It’s nothing, Minseok, you can go now, thanks for checking on us!”

He pushes Minseok away, but the alpha won’t budge. “Date? Jongah’s getting married?” He asks, peering curiously at the two of them. Jongin wants to disappear. “Tell me more.”

Jongin sighs and covers his face in shame. “No. It’s embarrassing.”

“Come on, tell him!” Jongdae coaxes, “or I’ll tell him for you. It’s not that embarrassing.” Jongin shakes his head. It _is_ embarrassing because he’s never dated anyone. He’s never had an alpha friend apart from Minseok, either—all his close friends are omegas and betas, which makes it even harder to lie to his sister. While he’s not opposed to dating betas, bringing an alpha home would definitely shut his family up, at least during the wedding.

“He needs a date for his sister’s wedding or his aunts and uncles will set him up on _thousands_ of blind dates,” Jongdae dramatically explains, hands in the air and all. “The last time they visited for _Chuseok_ , he had to go for like… dozens of dates before he finally told his aunts that he found someone. Even _then_ , they couldn’t _stop yapping_. And they’ll definitely ask about that someone again, so I think having you with him would be a safe choice.”

Jongin nods in agreement, stealing a glance at Minseok. The alpha is truly unreal, with his chiseled jaw and sharp cat-like eyes. It’s no wonder everyone else fawns over him, according to Jongdae. He’s successful too, having started his own business in the tech field. Truly a work of art.

“You don’t actually have to go to the wedding with me. I’ll just suck it up and go alone,” Jongin starts, but Minseok laughs at him, his gummy smile showing. Jongin feels like he can’t breathe.

“It’s okay. I’ll do you that small favour. It’s the least I can do for my little brother’s best friend,” Minseok says, winking at him. Jongin dies a little inside.

“Okay,” Jongin croaks, and Minseok bounces off the bed. “I’ll leave you guys to it. Text me the details, Jongin!” He doesn’t leave room for discussion as he exits. When he closes the door, Jongin has his hands on Jongdae’s shoulder, shaking him fervently.

“Why did you do that?!” He hisses. He’s not actually mad, but still, he frowns. His heart is in his throat and he feels like he’s about to explode from all that interaction with Minseok, but Jongdae just bursts out laughing, clutching his stomach.

“Dude, you’ve had that crush on my brother for _so long_. You should do something about it. Everyone can smell it on you,” Jongdae replies, wiping a tear from his eyes.

“It’s not a crush, it’s an eye candy,” Jongin retorts.

“And that’s not true,” he adds, cheeks heating up. “I hide my pheromones well. It just smells like nervousness. Nervousness could be due to the fact that he’s an alpha. Besides, I’m not around him enough for _others_ to know that.” He knows he’s rambling, but he can’t help but try to justify himself.

“It’s a joke, Nini,” Jongdae sighs, unpausing their show. “Remember to text him. You need to plan your love story. Now let’s continue fanboying over these alphas we can never have.”

 

* * *

 

Jongin doesn’t text Minseok until three days later. He doesn’t know where he gets the courage from when he sends a simple _Hey_ to Minseok, but he immediately wants to unsend the message.

The reply comes sooner than he expects it to and he nearly drops his phone in shock, because it isn’t a message, but a call. He takes deep breaths, placing a hand on his chest and finally accepts the call. “Hello?”

_“Hey Jongin! Texting is a little inconvenient for me at the moment because my hands are quite literally full. What’s up?”_

“You could’ve just replied later! It’s not anything urgent,” Jongin splutters, his eyes going wide. He doesn’t make a move to end the call though, as he sits up in bed and leans against the headboard to make himself comfortable.

 _“Didn’t wanna leave you hanging. Is this about your sister’s wedding?”_ Minseok replies, his raspy voice giving Jongin the tingles. Jongin squeezes his eyes shut and tries to think of something other than how attractive Minseok sounds.

“Yeah, it is. I was wondering if you were uh, f-free this weekend or something. We could come up with, you know. The lies,” Jongin tells him. There’s a pause on the other line, and a shuffling of papers.

 _“Uh. Yes, I am,”_ Minseok drawls, sounding a bit unsure, but he quickly recovers. _“I’ll let you know when I’m free and you can come over. Or I could go over, your choice.”_

“Come… over?” Jongin holds the phone tighter, tensing up. Him and Minseok, alone in a house? He shivers at the thought.

 _“Or did you want to meet somewhere else?”_ Jongin hesitates. He knows he should—just in case his heat is triggered somehow, or anything else happens—but he really wants to spend some alone time with the alpha, and he lets that get in the way of his rationality. He tells himself to remember the heat suppressants.

“Um- well- your house is fine with me. Just text me when you’re free, I don’t want to bother you any longer. Bye!” He hangs up before Minseok has the chance to answer.

He still can’t believe Minseok’s gonna be his date to the wedding. His sister knows of Minseok and Jongin’s ridiculous fascination with him, so he has to make this as believable as possible without Minseok figuring out about Jongin finding him attractive. And there’s no doubt that Jongah will tease him over this, so he has to figure out how to shut her up.

He wonders if he should bring Minseok over for the family dinner they’re having this weekend, but it may seem too sudden and the alpha might not want in. He lazes around in his apartment as he thinks of a story to conjure up for his family, and his phone pings an hour later. He excitedly retrieves his phone, but it’s only his sister and he deflates.

 

 **Noona:** Nini! Wanna have lunch today?

 

He pouts. He doesn’t want to, for a couple of reasons. He has to listen to her brag about everything he doesn’t have, and he will also somehow have to talk about his non-existent date, because that _will_ come up. And then it hits him: he can just tell her now.

 

 **You:** sorry noona :( i have a date today!

 **Noona:** You have a date??????

 **You:** yup ^_^

 **Noona** _is calling..._

 

“I swear, adults and calling,” Jongin mutters, accepting the call.

 _“What do you mean you have a date? Who is it? Why don’t I know about it?”_ Jongah yells over the phone, and Jongin winces, pulling the phone back. She sounds extremely excited about a relationship that doesn’t concern her, and Jongin thinks it’s a little funny but he humours her anyway.

“Actually… you know him,” Jongin teases. It’s a lot easier for him to lie over the phone, and he can’t imagine how he’s gonna do the same when they’re face-to-face. He just hopes Minseok will be there to save his ass.

_“Oh?”_

“Yeah, it’s Kim Minseok,” Jongin says confidently. His sister goes silent. And then, _“Kim Minseok? Like the alpha you’ve had feelings for like ever Kim Minseok? Jongdae’s brother Kim Minseok?”_

Jongin nods to himself, walking to the kitchen to grab a snack. He wants to correct her because he doesn’t have feelings for the alpha—just thinks he’s really, _insanely_ attractive—but he holds his tongue because he’s supposed to be lying. “Yeah. You sound surprised.”

 _“Of course I’m surprised! Our baby Nini is all grown up! You’ve never dated and the first boyfriend you get is Minseok? I’m impressed,”_ Jongah exclaims, and Jongin rolls his eyes. He bites into his poptart and swallows before speaking again, buying himself time to come up with more lies.

“Okay well, I have to go soon. I need to get ready for our date,” Jongin tells her, trying to sound enthusiastic. Jongah promptly hangs up, not wanting to hold him back any longer, but not before demanding Minseok’s presence at the family dinner this weekend. Jongin sighs. He doesn’t have much time left now.

 

 **You:** we might have a problem

 **Minseok:**?

 **You:** I told my noona about us because  
she wanted to meet today and that was  
the only lie I could think of (if I meet her  
she’s gonna ask abt it anyway)

 **You:** so now she wants u to join us for  
dinner on saturday and she wont take no  
for an answer :(

 **You:** but u can always say no!!! she would  
probably accept it if it was coming from u,  
just not me lol

 **Minseok:** OK. Dinner on Saturday sounds  
good. Also, I’m free on Friday so that gives  
us a bit of time to come up with a narrative.

 **You:** okay!

 **Minseok:** What are you doing today?

 

Jongin’s eyes widen in surprise. Minseok and him, having a conversation when they don’t actually have to? Not something he expects, but he supposes that since they’re fake dating now, they have to get to know each other. He hastily types out a reply.

 

 **You:** job hunting. I regret this degree but  
finding a job as a preschool teacher  
shouldn’t be too hard!!!

 **Minseok:** You could easily find a job in  
your family business.

 **You:** not my thing

 

It’s true that he could easily get job with his family name or under his family business, but Jongin doesn’t want anything to do with business. He wants to _teach kids_. As far as he knows, his family doesn’t dabble in the education sector, so finding a job in that area might be a little hard—not that he’s tried it yet. But he will, today. Starting with his resume. He puts away his phone because Minseok is one hell of a distraction, and starts his job hunt.

 

When he meets Minseok three days later, it’s at the alpha’s, because Jongdae will be home as well. Nonetheless, he takes heat suppressants before he leaves just in case, because he knows it’s arriving—he just doesn’t know when exactly because it comes early or late sometimes.

He drops a text to let Minseok know he’s on his way over, and he checks his outfit for the _n_ th time to make sure he looks presentable. When he gets on the bus, he texts Jongdae.

 

 **You:** I’m coming over n I’m so fuckin!!!  
nervous n scared!!!!!!!!

 **Dae:** im here u literally have nothing to  
worry abt. did u take ur suppressants

 **You:** no…

 **Dae:** you fucker. u did! there’s literally  
no need for u to i could take you home u  
dumbass

 **You:** BUT STILL

 **You:** there’s always that what if!!!!!

 

Jongdae continues to yell at him over text and he ignores them, pouting. Suppressants _do_ have side effects, but they aren’t normally severe, so he takes them quite often, especially because he doesn’t have someone to help him with his heats. But Jongdae doesn’t like the idea of him taking suppressants. He doesn’t know why, and Jongdae has never told him, so he just assumes it’s because of the side effects.

He fidgets in his seat. He’s been texting Minseok over the past few days, and they’ve been getting to know each other. They started with the basics—likes and dislikes, pet peeves, childhood stories—and Jongin feels like he’s known Minseok forever. He’s always been nothing more than Jongdae’s elder brother and his eye candy, and now he’s Jongin’s ~~date~~ friend. Jongin can’t say he’s not overwhelmed, but he can’t say this development is displeasing either.

He has learned that Minseok hates avocados, is a cat person, loves rom-coms, has a weird habit of collecting small boxes—the list goes on, really. He’s amazed at how much he knows about Minseok; on his scale of friendship, Minseok’s a solid 8 now.

When he arrives at the Kim’s, Jongdae is at the door, waiting with his arms crossed. He casts Jongin a withering look, and Jongin pouts prettily, blinking his large doe eyes at his best friend. “I promise I won’t take the suppressants again unless I really _really_ have to,” he whines, tugging at Jongdae’s arm.

“Damn right you shouldn’t,” Jongdae mutters, his annoyance ebbing away. “The side effects are crazy, you know that. Anyway, you guys have fun, I’ll be in my room. Holler if you need me.”

Jongin takes a deep breath as he nervously stands outside Minseok’s door, gripping tightly onto the hem of his shirt. Every time he sees the alpha, his heart flutters and he loses the ability to speak—not literally, but with how much he stutters, he may as well have.

He knocks on the door timidly, startled when the door opens nearly right after, as if the alpha could already smell him coming. “Hi,” Minseok says to him, huffing as he rests his arm against the door. Jongin peers around him curiously.

“Did I interrupt something?” It smells like an adrenaline rush in there and Minseok laughs at his question. Jongin then notices the trail of sweat dripping down his chest and his eyes wander to Minseok’s bare arms. He blushes and looks away.

“I was just working out,” the alpha replies breathily, holding the door wider for Jongin to enter. “Come in. Or, we could talk outside. It’s up to you.”

Jongin immediately backtracks and steps back outside. “Outside would be better.” _For me_ , he thinks, but he doesn’t say it aloud. Minseok nods and motions for him to go ahead. “Give me 10 minutes, I’ll be right out. You can think of the narrative you want to give them in the meantime.”

Jongin makes himself comfortable in the living room. At the age of 28, Minseok still lives with his parents, and Jongin finds it odd. The man can easily afford a home of his own, but he chooses to stay in this cozy apartment with his family—unlike Jongin, who moved out once he had the chance to. The house is just too big for his comfort.

He watches a TV show as he waits for Minseok to come out, but there aren’t many appealing shows in the afternoon and he ends up switching channels every few seconds. He’s soon joined by a warm body sinking into the couch beside him and he looks up to smile at Minseok. But the alpha is shirtless, and it catches him off-guard.

“What?” Minseok muses.

“Aren’t you… Shirt?” Jongin gestures to his own chest, fighting his blush. Jongin tries not to stare and prays that Minseok can’t smell the embarrassment and want radiating off him. Minseok only shrugs, looking back at the TV screen and leaning in towards the omega. “I like to be completely dry before putting any clothes on.”

“Okay,” Jongin says, trying to sound unaffected. He can practically smell the alpha gloating, and Jongin rolls his eyes and pretends he doesn’t care. “So—I’m just thinking as I speak here—since my sister already knows you, we can just say it just happened one night while I was here. If they ask, say I confessed to you or something.”

“How long have we been together, then?” Minseok asks, turning to give Jongin his fullest attention. Jongin switches off the TV and turns his body to face the alpha as well, crossing his legs on the couch. He can’t look at Minseok in the eye without feeling awkward and shy, but he has no choice now, since they’re going to be pretend boyfriends.

“My sister already thinks we’re together, so at the wedding we can tell people we’ve been together for about three months,” Jongin reasons as he counts on his finger. Minseok nods slowly in agreement.

“That sounds about right. We’ve already talked about our basic likes and dislikes, so I think we just have to figure out how to make it realistic,” the alpha says to him hesitantly, “I don’t suppose you have any ideas?”

Jongin wordlessly shakes his head.

“Then,” Minseok licks his lips, “Let’s go on dates so we won’t be _completely_ lying.”

“Um,” Jongin stutters, caught off-guard. He has thought of that, but he never expected Minseok to suggest it, much less agree to it, since they only agreed on faking the relationship—not actually doing couply things together. “If you don’t mind, I think that will help with coming up with stories to tell them.”

“Oh my god,” Jongin nearly yells. He can _not_ believe that he forgot. “The dinner is tomorrow!”

“Oh. Yeah,” Minseok replies, smiling at him. “I guess we have to think of something now.”

Jongin stays silent while he thinks of stories to tell his family, eyebrows knitted as he pouts at the ground. Minseok studies him quietly, a small smile playing on his lips as he watches the omega deep in thought. He moves forward in attempt to pull Jongin’s falling shirt back onto his shoulder, but he leans back when he smells something… sweet. Delectable.

“Are you…” he hesitates, eyes darting back and forth when Jongin looks curiously up at him. “Is your heat coming?”

Jongin stiffens. Minseok knows he’s right. “Why?”

“I can- I can smell you.” Jongin sniffs himself, frowning.

“I put on a scent masker before leaving though…” the omega mumbles. Minseok holds his breath, but he soon gives into temptation and subtly takes a whiff. Jongin smells like… freshly grounded coffee. A nutty scent sprinkled with a hint of chocolate. He doesn’t tell Jongin that.

“I’ll make this quick and leave before anything happens then. We might have to reschedule the dinner… I’ll let you know again. Anyway,” Jongin says quickly, eyeing the alpha. “I think, if they ask, we got together last week. I confessed to you while I was here and it was mutual, and we’ve only started dating so we don’t know much about each other. Clear?”

Minseok nods and Jongin continues on. “They won’t ask much if they know we only recently got together, but they _will_ ask you questions about yourself and stuff so just keep that in mind. I hope it doesn’t bother you. God, this is all going too fast. Maybe I shouldn’t have lied to my sister.”

Jongin twiddles his thumbs nervously—and Minseok notices. The panic is setting in.

“You were going to lie to her anyway, so starting the lie early is better for us. Like you said, we need time to make this believable. Imagine going to the wedding like, _hey this is my boyfriend whom I’ve been dating for the past three months but never bothered to mention_ ,” Minseok coaxes gently, giving him a soft smile and placing a hand over his. “It’s okay. You don’t have to worry, we’re gonna do a great job at this.”

Jongin nods silently, calming down a little. “But you know,” Minseok starts, choosing his words carefully, “after we ‘break up’, they’re still gonna set you up on blind dates. The only way to stop them is to firmly say no or _actually_ get a partner.”

Jongin sighs. “I’ll think about that later. Right now, I’m just buying time.” He gets up and smooths his wrinkled shirt down, smiling at Minseok. “I’ll get going now. ‘Cus… you know.” Jongin fiddles with the hem of his shirt, looking shyly down at his lap. It’s only in the midst of silence that he becomes awkward around the alpha once again, and he really just wants to _leave_.

Minseok stands up as well, leading Jongin to the door. “I can drive you home,” he begins, but Jongin cuts him off.

“It’s fine. Thanks, though. I’ll be fine on my own,” Jongin tells him, waving goodbye. He glances at Minseok once more, not quite making eye contact. His shirt is crumpled at the bottom from all his anxious gripping, and he grips it tighter in hopes that Minseok won’t notice what a mess the alpha makes him. “See you tomorrow… I guess.”

“You sure you don’t wanna stay over?” Minseok asks, grabbing onto his arm. A frown is etched on his face and Jongin feels a pang of—something akin to… pity?—when he sees how worried Minseok is. “Well it’s just, you look really unwell. You can stay with Jongdae until you feel better.”

And Jongin laughs, because he’s not unwell. He’s just feeling really jittery around Minseok, and he knows he can’t trust his suppressants because they don’t work _all_ the time. Especially now when he’s already feeling _something_ around Minseok even though he’s on the meds.

“No, it’s fine. I’ve got it. Thanks, I’ll text you when I get back if it makes you feel better,” he teases, scurrying away before Minseok can hold him back again. He fans himself and takes deep breaths in the lift, sighing when he realises that his little crush on Minseok will not help during his heat period.

 

* * *

 

“My heat is coming and your brother’s presence is not helping.”

 _“Then don’t meet him for now.”_  
  
“I can’t, there’s the family dinner tomorrow and my sister insists that he comes.”  
  
_“Just tell her he has a last minute meeting or something. She’s a businesswoman herself, she will understand. Also, why are we whispering?”_  
  
Jongin sighs. Thankfully, nothing happened while he was on the way back home, but he knows that Minseok could easily trigger his heat now, suppressant or not. It just doesn’t work all the time, and it worsens his heat the more he takes them. He knew this day would come, but he didn’t expect it to be at such an inconvenient timing.  
  
“I was walking home and I didn’t want anyone to hear me. Anyway, I’m home now and thinking of what to do about tomorrow. I can’t tell your brother that there’s no dinner because I’m afraid he’ll trigger my heat. It’s crazy.”  
  
_“It’s not crazy, it’s normal. Alphas trigger their omegas' heats all the time,”_ Jongdae replies monotonously.

“Yeah, the keyword being ‘their’. When they’re involved in some type of way. Minseok and I are nothing,” Jongin retorts tiredly. He sinks into his bed and closes his eyes, not even bothering to take off his jeans.

_“Tell me. Why are you so hesitant to take care of your heat in ways that do not include medicine?”_

Jongin opens his eyes and sits up, rubbing his temples. “It’s not like I don’t use toys. They just aren’t enough now, so I’d rather not have heats at all.”

 _“Right, and that roughly translates to ‘I need a knot or it hurts.’”_ Jongin keeps quiet because Jongdae’s right. And his best friend goes on, _“So get someone to help you.”_

“I’m… scared,” Jongin finally admits softly. He’s never told Jongdae why, and now that he’s finally said it, it sounds… stupid.

_“What are you afraid of?”_

“I don’t know. I just… I’m not very into the idea of flings. You know that,” Jongin tells him. For a very brief moment, Minseok pops up in his head and he wills it to go away, not wanting to think about the alpha. “What if I get pregnant from a one-night stand? What if I get attached to the person? I don’t know.”

 _“Then practice safe sex! Once isn’t enough to get yourself attached to someone anyway, just don’t overthink things and you’ll be fine.”_ Jongdae sounds annoyed, and Jongin feels a little guilty. He knows the solution to his problem is clear—he could just have sex with someone and his heat would go away after a few times, or maybe even once—but it’s not a solution he can accept so easily.

“It’s not always foolproof. And…” _and I don’t want it to be with a stranger._ “Whatever. I’ll just sleep on it and hope my heat doesn’t come soon,” Jongin says, upset that Jongdae won’t stop pushing the topic. “Good night.”

He hangs up and texts Minseok to let the alpha know he’s home and about to sleep. Finally ridding himself of his clothes, he steps into the shower and definitely doesn’t think of sex with Minseok.

 

* * *

 

“Shit shit _shit_ ,” Jongin curses, hastily putting his shoes on. It’s a dinner. A _dinner_ , and somehow, he still manages to oversleep. Why did he think a nap before the dinner would be a good idea?

His phone rings and he answers it immediately, afraid that it’s his sister calling and he quickly closes the door and locks it. “Yes, I’m on my way-”

 _“It’s Minseok. I’m downstairs,”_ the voice comes through, _“Don’t worry. We aren’t gonna be super late.”_

Jongin lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, leaning against his door in relief. “Thanks, hyung.”

 _“You should drop the honorific from now on. After all, we’re dating,”_ Minseok teases, and Jongin can hear the smile in his voice.

“People still call their boyfriends hyung, okay,” Jongin retorts, rolling his eyes. He rushes down the stairs and sees Minseok waiting at the lobby. “Or would you prefer I call you something else?”

Minseok doesn’t answer; he hangs up when he sees Jongin and grins. “Hey,” Minseok greets, tucking his hands into his pocket. “Shall we?”

How, how does Minseok always manage to look good? Jongin doesn’t know. The alpha is wearing a coat and a turtleneck paired with jeans, and his hair is barely styled, but Jongin thinks he looks _so_ breathtaking. Others in the lobby are staring—admiring the alpha. He doesn’t even have to release any pheromones for people to take a liking to him, and Jongin finds it amazing.

Jongin feels the sudden urge to wrap an arm around Minseok’s. And when Minseok raises a questioning brow, he shrugs, trying to act nonchalant about it. “Might as well get used to it. Wouldn’t wanna look awkward around my family.”

He ignores the heat coiling in his stomach as they exit the lobby.

 

When they arrive at the house—a mansion, really—Jongin is once again blown away by its splendor. It’s the house he grew up in, but the sheer size of it never ceases to amaze him. He doesn’t think he can ever get used to this kind of living, and he doesn’t know how his parents do it.

“Your family home is… incredible,” Minseok mutters as they drive into the estate.

“Yeah, incredibly uncalled for,” Jongin replies, leaning against the window. “I still don’t have a clue as to why the house is so huge when only my parents live here. If you don’t include the servants, that is. They should just convert this into a vacation home.”

Minseok shrugs. “Your parents grew up here. It’s special to them. Isn’t it the same for you?”

Jongin doesn’t say a word until they reach the building.

“Nini!” Jongah yells when they walk into the house. He toes his shoes off and sighs loudly, pushing them to the side with his foot. “How are you?”

“Hi noona,” he greets, looking around the house. The living room is empty, save for servants cleaning the house. Some of them are standing around and whispering to each other, and Jongin swears he hears something about _the alpha in the turtleneck._ “I’m okay. Where’s mother and father?”

“Kitchen,” she tells him, and turns to look at Minseok. “So, my brother’s finally got you, huh?”

“Shut up, noona,” Jongin hisses, dragging her along with him to meet their parents. “Make yourself at home, hyung, I’ll be back in a bit!”

“I would appreciate it if you don’t let him know about that crush I had on him since forever ago,” Jongin whispers agitatedly, making a face. “He doesn’t know about that silly eye candy.” Jongah chuckles at him and waves off his concerns.

“Whatever you say, little one,” she muses, eyes crinkling. She mindlessly drags her hand across the walls, silent until they reach the kitchen where their parents are. “Nini’s boyfriend is Kim Minseok,” she says in place of a greeting, and Jongin face palms.

“About time,” his father mutters, casting the pair a cursory glance, and Jongin’s jaw drops.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Jongin shoots back quickly. He crosses his arms, only to uncross them to envelope his parents in a warm hug. “Missed you.”

“We missed you too. You could’ve stayed with us,” his mother replies softly. Jongin snorts. “I’m not living with the spawn of Satan.”

“He’s your grandfather!”

“ _Whom_ I do not wish to talk to _or_ about. Can we just…? Talk about the food?” Jongin says tiredly, rubbing his eyes. His parents look… old. Old and tired. For a moment there, the guilt of not living with his parents weighs down on him, but even baby birds have to leave the nest one day.

Besides, he visits them often and phones them more than he needs to. His grandfather is just someone he cannot live with. Constantly picking on him because he’s the only omega in his (immediate) family.

“So, Kim Minseok, huh?” His mother teases. Jongin leans against the wall as Jongah moves to the table, sitting by the food. “We’ve heard a lot about this man, but we don’t really know him at all.”

“I don’t even know how you guys know about him. He’s just… really… attractive?”

“You used to stink up the whole house whenever you talked about him,” Jongah answers for them. “We talked about it in secret—obviously—often. Didn’t take much to find out who you were talking about.”

Jongin huffs in annoyance. “Jongdae.”

Jongah shrugs, lips quirking up. “Anyway, it’s nice that you finally get to be with the man of your dreams. He seems really nice so far.”

“You’ve met him for a whole _one_ minute.”

“And it’s shaping up pretty well, I would say,” Jongah replies. Their parents shoo them out of the kitchen, letting them know that dinner will be ready soon. Jongin really wants to argue and say he’s just physically attracted to Minseok, but he has to remind himself that he’s currently wrapped up in a lie. A lie that he can only end two, three months later.

He shuts his mouth instead.

“So, how long have the two of you been dating?” His father asks casually, and Jongin sighs inwardly.

“A little over a week,” Jongin replies, not looking up from his food. He steals a glance at Minseok, who seems to be enjoying his food more than an average person would.

“I’m a little upset that my son did not mention you to us at all. You’re his first, after all,” his mother says, dabbing at her eyes in mock sadness. “We don’t know much about you.”

Jongin rolls his eyes. His sister has been surprisingly quiet, and his grandfather is nowhere to be seen. “His name is Kim Minseok, he’s 28, he’s Jongdae’s elder brother, he doesn’t want to take over the-”

“I think Minseok here can introduce himself just fine, dear,” his mother cuts in, giving Jongin a warning look. Jongin gulps. His palms are clammy and he’s starting to sweat, but he just chalks it up to lying.

Minseok looks up at the mention of his name, eyebrows raised in surprise. “Uh. Hi. Mrs Kim.”

“Tell us more about yourself darling, and don’t call me Mrs Kim,” Jongin’s mother says expectantly, finishing up her food. Jongin looks to his sister for help, but she only shrugs and gives him a tiny smile. _You’re on your own, kiddo._

“Um, yes… mother. Whatever Jongin said, I guess. I don’t want to take over the family business because I know Jongdae wants it, so I started my own business instead,” Minseok replies hesitantly, glancing at Jongin’s father as he speaks.

“So, why our Nini?”

"Dad,  _please_."

“You’ve only been dating a week and you brought him home. I guess there’s something special between the two of you,” his father explains, mirth in his tone. Jongin sighs for the nth time that day.

“I just wanted you guys to _know_ about it, but noona insisted I bring him along today,” he grumbles, pouting as he tugs at his collar. The room is air-conditioned, but he still feels hot all over and he squirms in his seat uncomfortably.

“Hey! Don’t pin this on me. You could’ve just said no. It’s not like I’d kill you if you didn’t bring your _boyfriend_ along,” Jongah defends, pointing a fork at Jongin. Minseok places a hand over his and it startles him. He can’t help but stare at their entwined fingers as Minseok speaks, his cheeks heating up once again.

“It’s not like I was forced to come. So we’ve only been dating for a week, but we’ve liked each other for longer,” Minseok says, lying through his teeth. Jongin doesn’t know how he does it—lie to someone’s face like it’s no big deal. He squeezes Minseok’s hand warningly and gets a squeeze back, which does nothing to help his embarrassment. It’s starting to get a bit too hot.

Jongin tries to pry his sweaty palm away, but Minseok is unrelenting as he grips tightly onto his hand. He frowns at the alpha who isn’t looking at him, and as much as it bothers Jongin, tries to make eye contact with him. But the alpha doesn't notice at all—he doesn’t even spare him a glance as he talks to Jongin’s parents.

When his father leaves the table and his mother clears their dishes, Jongin decides that this is too much for him and that Minseok needs to leave _now_ , or he will.

“Minseok,” he says through clenched teeth, the telltale signs of his heat arriving becoming more apparent. He knew it would happen. He knew the suppressants would fail him somehow. He knew, and he let Minseok come along anyway. _Stupid, stupid, stupid._

“Are you okay?” Minseok asks worriedly, eyebrows furrowed as he places a hand on the small of Jongin’s back. It’s a little too warm to his touch, and it definitely isn’t normal. The omega shrinks back immediately, holding his breath as he looks away.

“I think you need to leave,” he says hoarsely, standing up. Minseok lets go of his hand, standing up as well. “What’s wro- oh.” He smells it a little too late. The scent of coffee and chocolate.

“Noona,  _please_ help me,” Jongin pleads, “And get Minseok away from me.”

Jongah frowns. “Don’t you want him to help with your heat?”

“What’s wrong?” His parents appear at the doorway, frowning. His mother speaks, and his father just looks on. “Is it your heat? Minseok can help you with that, right? He’s your al-”

“I’m not ready, okay?! Please just get him away,” he nearly cries, and Jongah rolls her eyes as she helps Jongin away from the table. Jongin is about to die of embarrassment, and he refuses to look at Minseok.

“It’s just your heat,” she mutters. Their parents are looking at Jongin weirdly—like he’s the weird one. And he hates it. Casting Minseok an apologetic glance, Jongah tells him, “Sorry man, but you have to go. I would send you off but...”

“It’s okay. Just… update me,” Minseok chokes out as Jongin’s pheromones permeate the room. It’s too strong, too soon, too overwhelming and Minseok has to control his urge to grab ahold of Jongin and take him. But it’s not what Jongin wants, and he has to respect that. Grabbing his coat, he says a quick goodbye and leaves, texting Jongdae to let him know about Jongin's situation.

Jongin locks himself in his old room and rummages through his belongings, sighing in relief when he finds his old knot toy. It’s not as good as an actual knot, but it’ll have to do for now.

Minseok’s name leaves his lips several times that week.

 

* * *

   
When his heat is over nearly a week later, the first thing Jongin does is go to the doctor’s. He doesn’t answer his family’s questions, doesn’t text Jongdae or Minseok, doesn’t speak to anyone—just slips out of the house early in the morning and heads straight for the doctor.

“I need a consultation with Doctor Bae. It’s regarding my heat and suppressants. And no, I don’t have an appointment booked,” Jongin rushes out quietly, tapping his fingers impatiently on the granite counter top.

“Sorry, but Doctor Bae is on maternity leave. Here’s your queue number. Your consultation will be with Doctor Kang instead, at level three.”

Jongin accepts it with a thank you and takes the lift up, clutching at his stomach. He still feels a bit queasy from his heat, but he ignores that ache as he takes a seat while waiting.

He doesn’t know why his suppressants don’t work, and he doesn’t know if they only cease to work around Minseok—he needs answers. His family doesn’t understand his needs for the meds because to them, it’s just a heat. It’s just biological pain and meaningless sex.

Thankfully, there aren’t many people at the private clinic at 9am on a work day. He doesn’t have to wait long before it’s his turn, and he hastily gets up, eager to know what the problem is.

“So, what’s your problem Mr. Kim?” The doctor—Jongin looks at her name tag— _Kang Seulgi_ , asks.

“Um, well Doctor Kang, I’ve been on suppressants ever since my first heat. I know the side effects- well I _thought_ I knew all of them, but recently they haven’t been working so well. I had my first proper heat just last week. Even when I was on meds,” Jongin says slowly, gathering his thoughts.

“You’ve been on suppressants for nearly a decade, for every heat you’ve gotten,” Doctor Kang says, staring at him. It’s a statement, not a question, and she doesn’t seem very pleased when he nods in affirmation.

“They aren’t good for your body, Mr. Kim,” she chides, and Jongin purses his lips. “There are many side effects, and as you know, infertility is one of the many.”

“We will need to do a full body check-up to find out what exactly is your problem, but there have been cases of suppressants becoming completely useless after too many doses,” she continues, flipping through her charts.

“To put it simply, your body is most likely rejecting the medicine because it’s trying to protect you. It thinks the medicine is harming your body. But of course, I need to know more about the circumstances you were in. Were there any alphas around, perhaps? Anyone who could potentially trigger your heat?”

“I- but isn’t that the point of suppressants? To prevent the triggering of my heat?” Jongin asks instead, evading the question. Doctor Kang smiles sadly at him. “Medicine doesn’t always work, darling. I suppose there _is_ someone?”

Jongin nods stiffly. “The first time I felt like something was wrong, he was there. And when I actually went into heat, he was there as well… he uh- an alpha that I… find… attractive?” He stumbles over his words. God, even the thought of Minseok is enough to make him blush and lose his cool.

Doctor Kang gives him a small smile once more, this time in a more understanding manner. She types something into the computer and Jongin peers at the screen curiously.

“There’s nothing wrong with you, if that’s what you’re wondering. It’s just… you’ve sort of outgrew the medicine. You will most likely have to take care of your heats naturally from now on—if you continue to take your suppressants, not only will they _not_ work, you will also suffer from severe side effects. I suppose I don’t have to list them all for you,” she kindly tells him.

Jongin looks down at his lap quietly, lips involuntarily downturned. Doctor Kang continues in a softer, more placating tone, “It’s not your fault. Your prescribing doctor should’ve made that clear beforehand. I think they might not have expected you to take suppressants so often. So why do you do it?”

Jongin hesitates. “I… it may sound stupid to you, but- I don’t- I don’t want to give in to our… carnal desires. The heat makes me feel like an animal. I hate it, I hate having to give in to our primal urges and having sex just to get rid of the pain. I hate that we’re barely conscious of what we do during our heat, I hate that my family just _accepts_ it, you know? I want my first time to be… to be special. With someone I know will take proper care of me, with someone who loves me and someone I love back. I don’t want it to be mindless sex.”

Doctor Kang eyes him warily, worriedly, like she’s expecting Jongin to break down and cry. He clears his throat, suddenly feeling conscious. “That’s… it. I guess it wouldn’t matter, suppressants or not. I could just _choose_ to go through my heat alone, but we all know how painful it is without an actual, _real_ knot. Sex ed taught us that much,” Jongin says quietly.

“You know, there are caretakers available. It’s becoming a popular thing now, hiring alphas to take care of heats,” Doctor Kang informs him, pushing up her glasses. She reaches for a pamphlet and passes it to Jongin, but he declines.

“I don’t want it to be a stranger. I want it to be someone I have an emotional connection with. It sounds stupid, I know, but I just really really want to save my first time for someone I love,” he says softly, gripping tightly onto the edge of the chair he’s sitting on. Doctor Kang nods in understanding and closes her file, looking up at him.

“We’ll let you know if anything pops up, but you’re good so far. Just lay off the suppressants and you’ll be fine,” Doctor Kang reminds him. “At the very least, get one of those knot toys. They _really_ help.”

“I have one, but it’s kinda old…”

“You should get yourself a new one, then. The newer ones are definitely a lot better,” she squeaks, cheeks pinking. “You may go now. Billing is on the first floor. Do heed my advice, Mr Kim. It’s hard to be a conservative omega in this day and age. I’m surprised you even made it this far.”

 

* * *

 

 

 **Dae:** would it hurt to let me kno  
that u r alive??????

 **You:** hi I’m alive

 **Dae:** u owe me (and my brother but  
not really) an explanation young man

 **You:** I’ll come over tomorrow

 **Dae:** ok but im comin over now

 **Dae:** actually im already here lol

 

Jongin curses and jogs up to his door, huffing. Jongdae is standing at the entrance, grinning like the Cheshire cat and it makes Jongin just a _little_ uncomfortable. “Came to check up on you.”

“Thanks, Dae. I’m fine. I went to the doctor’s this morning,” Jongin tells him, pushing the door wide open for Jongdae to enter. Jongdae locks in behind him and walks to the living room, plopping down on the couch. “And?”

Jongin takes a deep breath. “The suppressants won’t work anymore. Because I’ve been taking them way too often in the past 8 years.”

“... That’s a nice birthday surprise for you, huh,” Jongdae replies, chuckling. “Happy birthday.”

Jongin blinks at him. “It’s today?” he asks, surprised. He didn’t realise how badly the heat would affect him. “Damn, the heat really got to me.”

“Yeah, you okay to go out?” Jongdae asks, glancing at him. Jongin rests his arm over his face, sighing. It’s not like he can say no when he practically ghosted Jongdae over the week.

“Where are we going?” He asks instead, lying on Jongdae’s lap. Jongdae looks down at him and shrugs. “Where do you wanna go?”

“Honestly? I don’t feel like going anywhere. We could just call for delivery.”

“Sounds good.”

“Okay. Let’s just lie around and do nothing, then.” Jongin closes his eyes, just _waiting_ for Jongdae to say ‘I told you so’ to his face, but it doesn’t come.

 

When Jongdae finally leaves close to midnight—refusing Jongin’s suggestion of staying over, Jongin‘s immediate thought is to crash out. He did _nothing_ that day, but he’s still tired as hell. Probably because his heat just ended, he thinks, and maybe they shouldn’t have been playing video games and watching shows for so long.

Blinking blankly at his ceiling, he contemplates doing his nightly routine but decides against it because he’s too damn lazy. He reaches out for his phone and sends a text to Jongdae to see if he’s made it home safe, and he’s surprised to see a text from Minseok.

 

 **Minseok:** Hey, are you free tomorrow?

 **You:** yeah, what’s up??

 **Minseok:** Let’s hang out then.

 

Jongin raises an eyebrow to that. Hanging out, just the two of them, after Jongin had yelled at him to get out a week ago? The alpha isn’t even going to mention that? He says yes anyway, because he kinda really wants to see Minseok.

Should he tell Minseok? The reason why he didn’t want the alpha to help with his heat? Will Minseok think he’s weird, or that it’s ridiculous, just like his family does? Is he close enough to the alpha to tell him something like that? It’s not like he would care… right?

Offering an explanation seems like the least he could do after kicking the alpha out so abruptly, but he doesn’t think it’s an obligation. Heats are normal, and alphas shouldn’t be present unless they are both consenting parties—in which case, Jongin wasn’t.

 _You don’t have to explain yourself_ , he tells himself. _You don’t_.

 

“...And that’s why I made you leave. Sorry,” Jongin says sheepishly, staring hard at his drink to avoid looking at Minseok. “I know it’s weird-”

“It’s not,” Minseok cuts him off as he sets his coffee cup down on the table, “It’s admirable, really. The lengths you go to to preserve your… innocence.”

Jongin lets out a sigh of relief at the alpha’s acceptance. Not that it would matter, anyway. Not to him. It just… feels good to have someone understand where he’s coming from.

“I didn’t want to tell you at first,” Jongin admits, looking up at him. “My family finds it weird, as you probably could’ve seen from that day. They think it’s weird that I do this when it’s only _natural_. I didn’t think you would be any different.”

“I’m hurt,” Minseok says in mock disappointment, a hand to his chest as he pouts pitifully at Jongin.

The omega smiles bashfully at him, leaning back in his seat. They’re at a restaurant close by Jongin’s apartment for lunch, although Jongin doesn’t know what else the alpha has in store for them. All he knows is that Minseok asked for him to ‘dress nicely’, and that they would be out till pretty late at night.

This feels like a date. His body tenses up at the realisation and there’s a funny feeling in his stomach. Is this a _date_ date, or is this just to practice? Minseok puts a hand over his, rubbing his thumb soothingly like he knows Jongin’s troubled. “Relax, I won’t tell anyone. Does Jongdae know?”

“That’s not what I’m… nevermind. I told him about the doctor’s appointment yesterday, and he already knows about my reason for it,” Jongin brushes it off, thanking the waiter as their food is served. He tries to slowly pulls his hand away from Minseok’s, hoping the alpha will get the hint (he wants to eat, god damn it) but the alpha is just looking at him with so much intensity that it throws him off.

“Hyung… my hand,” Jongin says, “I want to eat.”

Minseok snaps out of it—is he _blushing_?—and quickly lets go, grinning at him. “Sorry. I was spacing out. What were you saying?”

Jongin puts a forkful of spaghetti in his mouth, swallowing, “Um. It’s nothing. I- nevermind.” Minseok eyes him warily.

“Jongin, I can smell your nervousness from here,” Minseok tells him, chuckling awkwardly. “What’s wrong?”

“You can?” Jongin nearly shouts. He put on a scent masker this morning. He knows he did.

“No, I was kidding. But I _can_ tell you’re nervous.”

“I-” Jongin breathes in, “I just wanna clarify, this ‘thing’ we’re doing now—uh, hanging out—it’s for practice, right? We’re pretending to be a couple right now. It’s a date for the wedding, right? You’re doing _really_ well.”

Minseok stares at him, seemingly stunned, but he quickly recovers. “Yeah, of course. Don’t sweat it.”

“Oh,” Jongin replies, his voice cracking. He shouldn’t be feeling like this. Like he’s disappointed that it isn’t a real date. He shouldn’t, but he can’t help it. It felt so real for a second, like they were _actually_ on a date, like Minseok might actually be interested in him, but it was all just for show.

Minseok smiles at Jongin, seemingly unaware of the change in his mood, and the omega forces a smile in return.

 

They watch a movie after their lunch. It’s not a movie Jongin’s particularly interested in, but he knows Minseok really wants to watch it so he doesn’t say a word. Plus, there aren’t any other available movies in that time slot.

Jongin doesn’t pay attention to the movie at all. All he can think about is the alpha going out with him only because he thinks it’s an obligation. Minseok’s not hanging out with him because he wants to, but because he feels like he has to.

He sighs quietly, and Minseok notices. He whispers, “You okay?”

“I’m fine. Just a little cold and tired,” Jongin mumbles back, not wanting to interrupt the movie. He really is tired—it’s all he seems to be feeling after that heat. He makes a mental note to check if that’s normal.

Minseok wordlessly removes his jacket and puts in over Jongin’s shoulders. He then gently pushes Jongin’s head so that the omega can lie on his shoulder, smiling down at him. “You can rest if you want.”

“Thank you,” Jongin says as he takes the opportunity to snuggle up to the alpha. What he _doesn’t_ expect is for Minseok to place a protective arm around him, warming him up. His heart does a little flip, basking in the attention.

When he looks up for an answer of sorts, he can faintly see Minseok smiling down at him, the glare from the big screen illuminating his facial features. “Practice. For when we’re in front of the others,” Minseok reassures him.

Jongin hums in reply. Practice it is.

 

“How was the movie?”

“Honestly? Not my cup of tea. Sorry,” Jongin confesses, smiling weakly. The smile he gets in return is dazzling.

“That’s okay. It’s not everyone’s cup of tea. Sorry for making you sit through it,” Minseok apologises, and Jongin shakes his head. They stroll about in the mall, occasionally entering shops that look interesting, making small talk.

Jongin asks about his business and Minseok seems really excited to answer his questions—so much that they end up looking for a place to sit and talk. It’s almost 8 in the evening and Jongin doesn’t normally get home later than 9, but he supposes he can make an exception for the alpha who’s been nothing but nice to him.

They sit at a nearby park, snacks in hand as they share stories about their childhood days. Jongin still has Minseok’s jacket on, and it smells a lot like the alpha—he wonders if Minseok would ~~give~~ lend it to him—purely for scenting purposes, of course, since they have to somehow prove that they’re a couple.

“Is it okay if I call you Nini?” Minseok boldly asks mid-conversation, and Jongin cocks his head to the side curiously, and it prompts the elder to go on. “I mean, my brother and I call you that all the time when we talk about you. So… yeah.”

“The two of you _talk_ about _me_?” Jongin exclaims, lips curling into an amused smile. Minseok flushes and he frantically shakes his head.

“We don’t gossip about you! You just come up in the conversation sometimes.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Yeah. Pet names for the ever curious extended family we’re going to meet, right?” Jongin says, trying not to sound too bitter about it. After all, he’s the one who wanted this whole fake dating thing to happen.

“Right.” The silence isn’t nearly as deafening as he thought it would be, but it’s slightly uncomfortable because Jongin feels like there’s something left unsaid. By him or Minseok, he doesn’t know, but he needs to break the silence. Thankfully, the alpha speaks up.

“Yesterday was your birthday,” Minseok says. It’s a statement. Jongin waits for him to carry on, looking straight at the pond in front of them. “I wanted to take you out to celebrate it. I wanted our day to start in the morning—trip to the zoo—but I had a meeting I couldn’t just _not_ attend, you know? So it was just lunch and a movie you didn’t enjoy. Even though it was a uh, practice date, to me, it was still us hanging out as… friends.”

Jongin whips his head to face Minseok, frowning. “Hey. It’s okay. Thank you, for doing this. I really enjoyed today, even if I didn’t enjoy the movie.”

“I enjoyed the time spent with you,” he whispers, smiling down at the ground. There’s a rustle—and then something is clasped around his left wrist. He looks at it in disbelief, and looks up at the alpha who has a box in his hand.

“Happy birthday, fake boyfriend,” Minseok teases. “I hope you like the bracelet. I spent five hours before _and_ during the meeting looking for the right one. Yes, you may brag about it.”

Shifting closer to the lamppost, Jongin puts his wrist under the light and admires the gift. The petite jewels are his favourite shade of blue, the aquamarines glittering under the light. The sleek silver bracelet feels heavy on his wrist, but not overwhelmingly so, and the material is gentle on his skin. This must’ve cost Minseok a fortune.

“You didn’t have to,” he breathes, eyes still on the jewellery. He doesn’t want to look at the brand. He doesn’t want to feel like it’s too much. “You really didn’t.”

“I wanted to,” Minseok murmurs, breath tickling Jongin’s cheek—since when did he get so near? Jongin leans back a little, blushing. Minseok’s watching him so intensely, Jongin feels a little naked under his stare. “Happy birthday, Nini.”

Jongin closes his eyes, anticipating.

And the alpha leans in.

But it isn’t a kiss. It’s a hug. It’s warm. Jongin opens his eyes and gingerly reaches around him, hugging him back. It’s progress, he tells himself. They’re bonding as friends.

Just friends.

 

 

 **Dae:** the date went well huh

 **Dae:** he came home smiling like an idiot

 **You:** NOT A DATE

 **Dae:** call it what u want

 **Dae:** also call me

 **Dae:** video call so i can tell if u r lyin

 

“It was _not_ a date,” is the first thing Jongin says when Jongdae picks up.

Jongdae raises a brow to that, seemingly skeptical. _“You sure about that?”_

“It was just practice for the wedding,” Jongin replies, rolling his eyes. “We need material since I’m so bad at lying. So he brought me out. As friends. We’re friends now, you know?”

Minseok had sent him home an hour ago, and Jongin just can’t get over the fact that the man had bought him an overpriced bracelet. The man bought him _something_ for his birthday. Even Jongdae didn’t buy shit for Jongin, even _Jongin_ didn’t buy shit for _himself_. It might’ve been a small gesture to Minseok, but it’s one that Jongin really treasures.

 _“The two of you are disgustingly cute together. I saw him scrolling through his gallery just now, and boy you won’t believe how many photos of you are in it,”_ Jongdae cackles, stuffing his face with chips.

“What?”

 _“Okay, maybe I was exaggerating and there really was only one photo, but it’s cute. If it wasn’t my brother, it would be cuter,”_ Jongdae continues. Jongin doesn’t recall Minseok taking any pictures of him, but he shrugs it off.

“All for the wedding,” he says.

 _“Oh come on. Aren’t you at_ least _a little bit interested in him?”_

“I find your brother attractive. So I might be a _little_ bit curious about him, but it’s not enough to want to be in a relationship with him… yet. It’s like… you and that Junmyeon guy from work. You think he’s cute, you think he’s attractive, you wanna get to know him, but will you date him if he asks you out, when you don’t even know him that well?” Jongin asks, even though he already knows the answer.

Jongdae scoffs. _“Yes, I would, and you already know that. You know my brother well enough to date him.”_

Jongin groans. “He doesn’t even like me romantically. He was the one who kept insisting this date is just for practice, like I need to be reminded. And you _know_ it takes a longer time for me—compared to you—to like someone enough to date them. To you, it’s just a date, but for me, it’s more than that. Which is why I was so hesitant to fake date your _brother_ , of all people.”

 _“Yeah yeah, you’ve told me, you’re grey-romantic, demiromantic, something like that. See, I remember,”_ Jongdae says proudly, grinning. _“I don’t understand, but I know.”_

“Thank you.”

 _“But just for the record, I totally approve of you and my brother,”_ Jongdae tells him.

“So you’ve mentioned.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [2/12 15:45 KST] Second half of this chapter has been updated. Sorry to those who read the unedited version!

It’s Jongin who asks Minseok out on the last day of January. They've spent the last two weeks texting, occasionally meeting up for quick lunches nearby Minseok’s office, but they haven’t been on another one of their fake dates since the belated birthday celebration.

With Jongin being busy pondering over his career and Minseok being busy taking care of his own, neither of them really had the time to do anything, and Jongin was still apprehensive about spending time with Minseok—until now.

He’s already been friends with the alpha for about a month, and now that he knows Minseok better, he doesn’t get as jittery and embarrassed around him. Minseok’s employees whisper about him and refer to him as _Mr Kim’s boyfriend_ , and Jongin doesn’t even bat an eyelash at that.

He taps his foot impatiently as he glances at his watch and yawns. It’s 10 past two, and he knows Minseok has a legitimate reason for being late, but it’s been forty minutes. He’s waiting in the lobby, waiting for Minseok to text him, even—but the man doesn’t. Jongin sighs. Tux shopping can wait another day.

 

 **You:** I don’t know why u r late AND not  
texting me about it but im comin up with  
food. u better have ur hands full w work,  
mr kim.

 

He goes to the nearby restaurant that they frequent, ordering their usual to-go. “Your boyfriend is not with you today?” the cashier asks, and Jongin shakes his head no. He stifles another yawn and smiles sheepishly at her.

“I’m taking the food to him. He’s… occupied,” Jongin tells her. He sits by the window and waits for their food, checking his phone for texts from Minseok, but there are none. He deflates a little, the worry getting to him. When the food arrives, he hastily picks it up and jogs back to the office, wondering if something happened to the alpha.

Now that Jongin thinks of it, he’s never been up to Minseok’s office. They always meet at the lobby and eat out, so it’ll be his first time seeing Minseok literally at work, and it kinda makes him tingle.

He greets the receptionist and she looks up, a look of recognition flashing across her face as she waves him on. Jongin raises an eyebrow to that. Just what could Minseok be doing if Jongin is allowed to enter?

He raps the door and enters after a few moments, surprised to see that Minseok is just sitting behind tons of paperwork. “You missed out on lunch for this?”

Minseok looks up at him, startled. “Why are you here?”

“I’m here for lunch, obviously,” Jongin replies, frowning. He lifts up the bag of food to show the alpha, and Minseok sucks in his cheeks in frustration.

“I thought… I sent you a text saying I had to cancel today. I sent it like two hours ago,” Minseok tells him, checking his phone. Jongin grabs a chair and pulls it to Minseok’s desk, sitting beside him. His hair is all mussed up as if he ran his hand through his hair countless of times, and his tie is loose. Minseok looks tired, and Jongin feels guilty for being annoyed at him earlier.

“Oh, you texted me. I didn’t see it,” Minseok says apologetically, glancing at Jongin. “I’m swamped with work today. If I could just get it done by tonight…”

“You still have to eat though,” Jongin says matter-of-factly, taking their food out of the bag, “So put all your work away and focus on the _seolleongtang_. 15 minutes won’t hurt.”

Minseok sighs. “Once you start working, you’ll understand,” he says as he rearranges his desk. He makes space for the food and takes off his tie, fanning himself.

“I love _seolleongtang_ ,” Minseok says, grinning. “Thank you.”

“I know you do. You made me memorise that just in case anyone ever asks about our relationship and happens to ask about food. Which, by the way, still sounds ridiculous.”

Jongin looks up at the air-conditioner and hums. It’s switched on, but the room is still hot and stuffy. “You should probably get that checked. Also, I got a job at the preschool I told you about,” he exclaims happily, smiling at Minseok. His smile grows wider when Minseok flashes him that gummy smile he likes so much, congratulating him.

“I knew you could do it,” the alpha says, grinning. “Thanks for lunch, by the way. When do you start?”

“No problem,” Jongin replies, digging into his food. “It’s next week, I think.”

“So soon?” Minseok asks, surprised. Jongin nods in reply and swallows his food before speaking.

“There will be an induction to get me settled in, but I’ve already got my degree down for it so I’m good to go,” Jongin says. Minseok pauses to count on his fingers and looks up at the omega, his mouth full of rice.

“Isn’t next week a week before _Seollal_?” Jongin looks back at him and shrugs. _Seollal_ has never been an event he enjoys, and his family has never forced it on him. It used to be something he looked forward to when he was younger, but over the years, especially after he presented as an omega, he started to avoid unnecessary family gatherings.

There’s no reason to see people you’re not close to. Invasive, personal questions thrown your way, always giving opinions where they’re not needed and Jongin has no way to escape them except stop going for the reunions. He hates it, if anything.

They have a reunion dinner every eve, but only with his parents and sister. If his grandfather joins them, he doesn’t eat with them because he doesn’t want his  _Seollal_ to be ruined. “I don’t really celebrate _Seollal_.”

“What kind of Korean doesn’t celebrate _Seollal_?” Minseok sounds very appalled, and Jongin frowns at his reaction.

“It’s not that important to me. We have a dinner every eve of _Seollal_ , just the four of us, and then we’ll all be busy doing our own things, but it’s okay because we’re a pretty tight-knit family. We spend enough time together to skip  _Seollal_. We’re also bigger on events like Christmas.”

Minseok shakes his head and puts his chopsticks down. “No way. You have to celebrate  _Seollal_ with us.”

“Uh, with your family?”

“Yeah, why not?”

“I’ll be seeing your extended family?” Jongin confirms, and Minseok nods. He’s looking expectantly at Jongin, and Jongin can’t find it in himself to say no, but he doesn’t want to be deceiving so many other innocent people when he’s already planning to lie to tons of others.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea… I’m already lying to _my_ extended family. I don’t want this to somehow snowball into a bigger lie.”

“We don’t have to go as a couple,” Minseok presses, tone almost pleading, but Jongin is adamant.

“Sorry hyung, I really don’t think we should do that.”

Minseok is silent for a moment as he looks down at his food. In that moment, Jongin considers taking his words back but Minseok says it’s no problem, and the topic is dropped. Somehow, it’s as if Jongin said the wrong thing, but he really doesn’t want to meet the alpha’s family.

He knows for a fact that the Kim brothers’ parents love him to bits and would probably be happy if Jongin marries into the family, and that makes him hesitant to meet them as potential husband material because he doesn’t want to disappoint them when they ‘break up’.

But he doesn’t say all that to Minseok because the alpha doesn’t seem too keen on talking as he pushes his food aside and continues to work on his things. “You haven’t even finished your food,” Jongin points out, and Minseok doesn’t even look up at him.

“I’m full.”

“That was your only meal of the day,” Jongin fires back. He pauses for a moment to yawn. He’s been lethargic the entire day because he didn’t get much sleep last night. Talking to your fake boyfriend till 3 in the morning isn’t the ideal way to spend your supposed sleeping time, but he did it anyway.

“There’s no way you’re full from that. There’s more than half left. Come on,” he coaxes, scooping a spoonful of Minseok’s rice and attempting to feed him. The alpha stares coldly at him and Jongin involuntarily shivers under his stare, slowly lowering his hand. It feels like he’s done something wrong, but… it can’t be. Minseok isn’t _that_ petty.

Minseok leans forward and eats what he is fed before Jongin has the chance to lower his hand completely, and the omega beams at him, forgetting all about Minseok’s earlier expression. “I’ll eat the rest later,” Minseok says, chewing on his food. “You look tired. You should go home.”

As if on cue, Jongin yawns again, but he shakes his head. “It’s fine. I’ll just stay for a little longer.” He moves to sit on the couch at the corner of the room, careful not to distract Minseok as he works.

He glances at Minseok for any reaction or small talk at all, but the alpha is extremely focused on his work, his eyebrows knitted into a frown as he studies a piece of paper. Jongin opens Batflicks to catch up on one of his favourite show, but it isn’t long before he starts dozing off on the couch.

 

Minseok clicks his tongue. He knows he may have overreacted a little when Jongin very politely declined his offer to spend _Seollal_ together, but it doesn’t make it sting any less.

So maybe Minseok keeps forgetting it’s not a real relationship. It’s hard to keep up when Jongin is by his side nearly every day, ever endearing and captivating. It’s hard to not like him, and it’s getting harder to pretend he doesn’t actually have feelings for the omega.

He gets up up from his seat and bends down to open a drawer, searching for the spare blanket he knows he keeps around. When he finally finds it hidden underneath all the other clothes he keeps in the office, he grins triumphantly and tip-toes to where Jongin is, gently laying the thick layer on him.

And then he sits against couch, resting his head on the leather seat as he watches the even rise and fall of Jongin’s chest. If he had to pick his favourite pastime, it would be watching Jongin (fall) asleep. As creepy as it sounds, Minseok doesn’t do anything other than that.

To him, it’s like admiring an artwork. He starts from the top, from his fluttering eyelashes and slightly furrowed brows. Even in his sleep, Jongin doesn’t seem to catch a break from worrying over the simplest things, and Minseok stifles a chuckle. His eyes wander down to the light laugh lines around Jongin’s mouth—how he wants to erase those wrinkles, but it would mean tampering with the art that is Kim Jongin.

And then, his eyes linger on the omega’s plush lips.  For a split second, Minseok wonders what it'll be like to kiss him.

He leans closer, mind in a haze. He can’t tear his eyes away from Jongin’s pink, moist lips, but he stops himself before he can do anything stupid. Jongin _trusts_ him. He can’t just throw that away for a peck on the lips.

Shaking his head at his idiocy, he returns to work and attempts to finish his work by sundown, because he knows Jongin asked him out to go shopping for a tux. They have a month and a half left to the wedding, but Jongin likes to be on the safe side. It’s kinda cute, really.

They were supposed to go during his break, but because he was an idiot who stayed up till 3am to talk to Jongin instead of finish his work, he has to pay the price now. Those were hours well spent, though, he thinks. Any minute spent interacting with Jongin is time well spent.

 

Jongin is awakened by someone shaking him lightly. The lights are dim and the room is warm, and he can’t remember where he’s at for a moment. “Time to go, Nini. My work here is done.”

Jongin sits up and rubs the sleep out of his eyes, yawning. “What time is it?”

“It’s half past 8. We have to hurry if we want to get dinner _and_ your tux,” Minseok replies, putting his coat on. He extends a hand out to Jongin, who accepts it gratefully. He pats himself down and smiles at Minseok, embarrassed.

He can’t believe he fell asleep in Minseok’s office.

Yes, he was tired, but he’s never been so tired that he could fall asleep in someone else’s presence. The only person out of family that he can openly sleep around is Jongdae. He can’t imagine how ugly he must’ve looked while sleeping, probably drooling all over the blanket.

He sneaks a glance at the blanket as Minseok grabs his keys and briefcase, and decides to take it along with him to clean it up. “What are you doing?” Minseok asks, raising a brow.

“Uh… taking the blanket to home to wash it?” Jongin says, as if unsure. Minseok smirks at him and shakes his head.

“Don’t bother. Just leave it. Only I use that anyway.”

“B-but… I might have… drooled…” Jongin trails off, ashamed to admit it. Minseok wordlessly puts down his briefcase and takes the blanket from Jongin’s hands, carelessly folding it up and tossing it onto the couch.

“Let’s go.” Jongin scrambles to gather his items and follows after Minseok. The sky is already dark and everyone else in the office has left. Jongin wonders if Minseok ever has the chance to leaves the office on time; he’s never known the man to leave before 8pm.

“What do you want to eat?” Minseok's tone is still curt and Jongin presumes it’s because he rejected the alpha’s offer to spend _Seollal_ together. Minseok may be great at masking his scent, but Jongin can’t say the same for his facial expressions and tone of voice.

“Let’s have some Japanese,” Jongin suggests, hoping it will placate the alpha a little since it’s his favourite cuisine. Minseok nods stiffly and opens the car door for Jongin, who hastily steps in with a small word of thanks.

The ride there is silent. Minseok doesn’t attempt to make small talk, and Jongin doesn’t push it. It’s a little disappointing, really, that the alpha would be so… _childish._ Giving him the silent treatment just because he didn’t want to meet his family and spiral into a deeper lie? Even though Minseok insisted that they could just go as friends, he doesn’t want to risk it. He doesn’t want to be a bother, either.

 _He seems to really want you there._ Jongin purses his lips.

 _Maybe he actually likes you._ Jongin side-eyes Minseok. No way in hell the alpha likes him. Not when there are so many other people around him who are way more suited for Minseok. Prettier, smarter, funnier… the list can go on. But maybe… Minseok just really likes him as a friend and wants Jongin to have a nice _Seollal_.

His train of thoughts is interrupted by Minseok heaving a loud sigh. “There are long queues everywhere even at this time and I don’t want to go in near closing,” Minseok mutters, angling his head to look around. He glances at Jongin who is already looking at him, and looks awkwardly back at the road. “Maybe we should just grab your tux and head back. You can have dinner at our place and sleep over if you want, I’m sure Jongdae wouldn’t mind.”

“Sounds good,” Jongin replies softly, looking out of the window. He can tell that Minseok is already feeling bad, and he has half the mind to pretend he’s upset so that the alpha would be even more remorseful. He stifles a laugh at the thought and decides against it.

“Hey,” Jongin says, tugging at Minseok’s sleeve. “Do you- do you really want me to spend _Seollal_ with you and your family…?”

“Of course,” comes Minseok’s clipped reply, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “Why wouldn’t I want that?”

 _Because_ Seollal _is a family event and should be spent with loved ones,_ Jongin wants to say, but he swallows it.

“I guess… spending _Seollal_ together wouldn’t be too bad.” He smiles down at his lap, feeling shy. He’s about to take it back when Minseok doesn’t answer, but he looks up to see the widest, prettiest smile Minseok has ever given him—so genuine and full of happiness that Jongin’s heart skips a beat.

They end up going home with a white tux and groceries for dinner. Minseok’s mood has lifted considerably, and Jongin feels at ease.

It feels like they’re an actual couple, going home together after a date, but Jongin knows that Minseok is just treating him like his other friends. Other friends that Jongin only now realises he’s never seen or heard of.

They arrive home to a quiet apartment, Jongdae seemingly out of the house. It’s weird that he would be out this late, and Jongin glances at his phone to see if Jongdae said anything about going out.

 

 **Dae:** going to myeon’s, won’t be  
back tonight, have fun & don’t do  
anything i wouldn’t do xx

 

“Of course,” Jongin mutters to himself. How typical of Jongdae to give him some alone time with Minseok. In the movies, dating the best friend’s brother is always forbidden, but Jongdae seems to like the idea of Jongin and Minseok together and it scares him a little. ( _Your babies would be so gorgeous,_ Jongdae always tells him.)

He follows Minseok into the kitchen and tosses the tux onto the couch as they pass the living room. Minseok unpacks their groceries and motions for Jongin to take a seat as he prepares their dinner. “Jongdae says he won’t be home today,” Jongin informs him, and Minseok comes to a halt.

“Do you want me to send you home after dinner then?” He asks, and Jongin loudly rejects the idea. It takes the both of them by surprise, and he clears his throat in embarrassment.

“Um actually, if you don’t mind, I’ll just sleep in Jongdae’s room or something,” Jongin replies, “It’s late so I might as well just stay here.”

“It gets lonely living alone,” he adds quietly, and the alpha doesn’t reply to that. Jongin doesn’t know if he’s disappointed or relieved that Minseok doesn’t seem to have heard what he said.

“So what do you do in your free time?” He asks, trying to make light conversation. Minseok shrugs, back still facing him as he expertly slices up the meat.

“I work,” he says simply. “Sometimes, I exercise.”

“Don’t you hang out with other people?”

“I hang out with you,” he points out, but Jongin shakes his head and leans forward. “That doesn’t count.”

Minseok turns to give him a look and proceeds to dump all the meat into the wok. It’s loud and crackly and Jongin hates it, but he stays in his spot and watches the alpha intently. “I don’t really have time to hang out with other people. You and my family, I think that’s more than enough.”

“Doesn’t it get lonely?”

“Doesn’t it get lonely only hanging out with Jongdae?” Minseok fires back jokingly.

“It does,” Jongin admits solemnly, surprising Minseok. “It’s not like I wanna be lonely forever. I want to meet my mate soon too you know, but it’s not… it’s not easy for me to go out there and socialise. I’m not Jongdae.”

The crackling continues on and so does Minseok’s silence. Jongin immediately regrets dampening the mood because Minseok looks like he’s just about done with life, and Jongin hastily gets off his seat and helps the alpha to set the table.

“Are you uh, actively searching… for a mate?” Minseok awkwardly asks, and Jongin flushes.

“Not really… I’ll let love find me I guess,” Jongin replies, giggling. “Plus, I can’t possibly find a mate while we’re doing this whole fake-dating thing. Perhaps after that.”

“I am afraid I won’t ever meet someone, though,” he adds, sighing. “We aren’t college students anymore. We don’t have ways to meet new people other than through work, mutual friends and dating apps. The first and last options are definitely not my go-to ways, and my only friends are you and Jongdae, so I guess I’m gonna be single for life unless you guys have friends I don’t know about.”

“The right person will come along,” Minseok finally says after a few beats of silence. “Maybe he’s already here.” No more words are exchanged until the food is served, and Jongin thanks the alpha meekly.

It’s comfortable—sitting with Minseok like this, eating without the pressure of having to say anything. It’s far from awkward and Jongin marvels at the thought of how different the Kim brothers are. With Jongdae, he can never have a moment’s peace, even when he’s trying to get some sleep; not that he finds it annoying.

Jongin clears his plate very quickly, surprising Minseok. “I was hungry,” he shrugs, leaning back. “You’re done with yours too.”

“I’m an alpha. I eat twice- _thrice_ as much and fast as you do,” Minseok deadpans.

“You don’t have to celebrate _Seollal_ with us if you’re not comfortable with it,” Minseok adds as he clears the dishes from the table. It sounds a little defensive, as if the alpha thinks Jongin feels forced to go, and Jongin shoots down that idea immediately.

“I want to go, and I’m going,” he says firmly, leaving no room for argument. “Besides, if it gets too much, I can always leave.”

Minseok shrugs as if to say _you do you_ , and Jongin laughs at his poor attempt at hiding a smile. Jongin stands at the sink and watches Minseok wash the dishes, wondering if he should should take a shower and head to bed.

The alpha seems to understand his dilemma and saves him the trouble. “Do you wanna watch a movie before we sleep? None of us have to get up early tomorrow anyway.”

“Sounds good,” he replies a little too quickly, and Minseok chuckles at him. Jongin’s tired, but that won’t stop him from spending more time with his fake boyfriend. He helps to wash up the dishes even though Minseok tells him not to, pushing the alpha away.

“You already made dinner,” he says, soapy fingers wetting Minseok’s shirt, “Go take a shower. You stink.”

“I’m going, I’m going,” Minseok laughs, resisting the urge to lean in and kiss Jongin in the forehead. Jongin is not his mate. It hurts to remind himself that they’re not actually together, but if he doesn’t, he might just ruin what they have.

Minseok is more than surprised when Jongin leans against his chest halfway through the movie. _Total Recall_ isn’t exactly a cuddly movie, but the omega seems content with snuggling under Minseok’s arm.

It’s not the first time Jongin’s been touchy, but it’s the first time he's gone beyond the usual hand-holding. Not that Minseok’s complaining.

Minseok strokes his hair as they watch the movie, secretly pleased with their progress even though most of it is just for the faux relationship. Jongin purrs in delight but abruptly pulls away after a couple of seconds, looking up at Minseok. “Uh, sorry.”

“What for?” Minseok asks, blinking innocently at him, fingers still carding through Jongin’s hair.

“I- uh,” Jongin stammers, eyes darting back and forth, “you, um, Jongdae. I kinda thought you were him.”

“But it’s okay!” He adds when the alpha visibly deflates, “I like it. It’s okay if you don’t mind. I was just surprised, that’s all.”

“I don’t mind it. I like it,” Minseok boldly says, looking down at Jongin.

“Wow, we’re like a match made in heaven,” Jongin jokes, yawning cutely. Minseok smiles at the sleepy omega and turns off the TV.

“Go to sleep, it’s late,” Minseok mutters, daringly slipping his hand around Jongin’s waist and pulling him close. The omega hums softly and lets himself be coddled, seemingly fast asleep.

Falling asleep with his arms wrapped around Jongin, Minseok dreams of them becoming something more than just fake lovers.

But it’s bittersweet when he wakes up—Jongin is by his side, but not in the way he wants him to be. He reaches for his phone on the bed stand, phone flooding with messages from his younger brother and he stifles a sigh, careful not to wake the sleeping omega beside him.

 

 **Jongdae:** how was alone time with Nini?  
y’all fuckin yet

 **Jongdae:** i assume u are

 **Jongdae:** heLLOOOOOO YALL SLEEPIN  
ALREADY????? SO SOON??? ITS ONLY  
1AM WYD ANSWR ME

 **Jongdae:** i take it y’all had a good time

 **Jongdae:** wonky face

 **Jongdae:** winky*

 **You:** Good morning. That is none of your  
business but no, we haven’t. He did cuddle  
me to sleep though, and that’s cute. He’s…  
extremely affectionate.

 **Jongdae:** yes nini likes his skinship

 **Jongdae:** he warmed up to u really quickly  
n that’s a good sign

 **Jongdae:** one step closer to becoming  
OFFICIAL LOVERS

 **You:** I don’t know how we’re brothers.

 **Jongdae:** god made u my brother bc he  
knew i will be able 2 get u and Nini together

 **Jongdae:** it’s my life mission now

 **You:** I’d rather let nature take its course

 **Jongdae:** gd luck then

 **Jongdae:** (but if u ever need helpim here)

 **Jongdae:** GO WIN HIS HEART

 

* * *

 

When he told his family he was going to spend _Seollal_ with Minseok’s family, they reacted the way he expected them to. “You don’t even like _Seollal_ ,” his sister had pointed out, to which he smiled as he carried on eating. His parents were surprised, but supportive that _‘our little Nini is finally growing up’_.

Now, an hour before he has to leave, he isn’t exactly looking forward to spending _Seollal_ with Minseok’s extended family. Jongin is starting to regret agreeing to it, but he really doesn’t want to disappoint Minseok. Just as he’s about to grab his things and leave, Minseok calls him.

“Hello?” Jongin says, unable to keep the nervousness out of his voice.

 _“Hey. Why do you sound so nervous?”_ Minseok asks, and Jongin can _hear_ him smiling.

“Because I am, you dimwit,” Jongin hisses, looking down at his outfit. He’s dressed how he would normally dress for his own family, but it feels inadequate. Should he be dressed to impress, or should he just tone it down? “Does your family care much for appearances?”

 _“Jongin, no one will care. Relax,”_ Minseok tells him. _“I’m sure you look fine. I’m waiting at the lobby, come down when you’re ready. Take your time.”_

“Thanks babe,” Jongin blurts, the pet name slipping out so easily that it doesn’t register until seconds later. “Uh, practice for later,” He says lamely, and Minseok laughs. _“Sure,_ babe _.”_

 

Jongin asks too many questions, and he knows it. “Sorry,” he whines, occasionally glancing at Minseok as they walk up to the apartment. “I’m just so antsy.”

“You have nothing to worry about. We can stay for an hour or two and leave if you’re still uncomfortable by then,” Minseok coaxes, opening the door.

“You don’t have to go with me, I can leave on my own,” Jongin starts, but Minseok shushes him.

“If we’re gonna act, we’re gonna have to keep it up,” he says quietly, entering the apartment, “And what kind of boyfriend will do that?” Jongin shrugs at that. His eyes light up when he sees Minseok’s little nephews running up to him, and his smile grows wider when Minseok picks them up one by one, smooching them on the cheek.

With one nephew in his arms, Minseok takes Jongin’s hand and brings him into the house to greet the others. “Where’s Jongdae?” Jongin whispers, looking around the apartment. Unfamiliar faces look back at him and he gives them a shy smile as Minseok drags him to the kitchen when his parents are, and he gets his answer.

“Jongdae!” Jongdae turns around and grins at him, hands covered in flour as he walks towards Jongin.

“I would hug you, but my hands are… occupied?” Jongdae says, “I can’t believe you actually came.”

“I promised Minseok,” Jongin answers, smiling back.

“Yeah, but you don’t even like _Seollal_ ,” Jongdae retorts softly, glancing at Minseok who’s talking to his mum. “You hate it _and_ socialising-”

“No I don’t! Not as far as Minseok knows. Come on, it’ll be fine,” He whispers urgently, patting Jongdae on the back as he rushes to greet their parents.

“Jongin! We’re so glad you could make it for _Seollal_ with us,” Mr. Kim says happily, “The brothers were excited to see you.”

“Mostly Minseok,” Mrs. Kim adds, winking. _Oh, she knows._ “I’m happy to be here,” he replies, bowing a little. Minseok puts his arm around Jongin, leaning close as his parents start asking about their relationship. Thankfully, Minseok answers most of the questions for them so all Jongin has to do is stand around awkwardly while they wait for the food to be ready. A gift exchange is mentioned, and Jongin pales. He hasn't prepared anything for anyone because his family normally skips out on it. What can you possibly get for a family that has it all, anyway? 

His grip tightens on Minseok's arm and he tugs a little to get the alpha's attention. "I didn't prepare anything for the gift exchange."

"It's okay," Minseok says, tone hushed, "We didn't expect you to. I guess it wouldn't make you feel better to know that  _we_ prepared something for  _you_ , though."

Jongin glares at him, about to chide Minseok for not reminding him about it, but he softens up when he sees the smile the alpha is wearing. Jongin can never be mad at him when he smiles like that.

 

Jongin pulls Jongdae aside right before they start their feast. "Dude, I can't do this. I  _really_ want to leave but I can't allow your brother to leave with me," He stresses, wringing his hands. Jongdae closes the door behind them and leads Jongin to a seat.

"On a scale of 1 to being alone with your aunts, how bad is it?" Jongdae asks slowly as he pulls a chair up to sit behind Jongin. The family is waiting for them but Jongdae sends a text to the family chat to let them know they can go ahead first.

"An 8, maybe? I don't know, this is stressful. Interaction with people I'm not familiar with stresses me out, but I don't want to dampen the mood," Jongin sighs. Non-stop questions about his relationship with Minseok and whether they're planning to 'take it to the next level' are really stressing him out. He doesn't want to think about it. Keeping up the facade is tiring as it is, and questions just make everything worse for him because he actually has to  _think_ before he speaks.

But the more he thinks about it, it doesn't really feel like a facade. Minseok is basically Best Friend Number Two now, except with extra feelings because of the fake relationship they're having. It doesn't feel as forced as when they first started, and Jongin  _really_ doesn't want to read any further into that thought. Nope.

"Well if you want to make a quick exit, I'll just tell them you're not feeling well and you're going home to sleep it off," Jongdae offers, but Jongin doesn't take up the offer immediately. He thinks about it hard, nearly okay with leaving early before the thought of Minseok being all pouty and upset floats into his mind. He semi-reluctantly declines and sits to talk to Jongdae for a little longer before they decide to go back to join the rest of the family.

Jongin ends up staying there for the rest of the day, strangely comfortable amongst the unfamiliar faces.

 

* * *

 

The end of February means the hot and humid weather is arriving, and it also means they’re a lot closer to the wedding day. Jongin can’t say he’s surprised at how close he and Minseok have gotten, considering the fact that they talk to each other everyday.

He doesn’t know how Minseok finds the time or energy to have meaningless little conversations with him, but he likes it. He likes having someone other than Jongdae to talk to, someone he can rant to about Jongdae when they have little arguments, and feeling like he’s actually loved.

 _But Minseok doesn’t love you,_ a voice in his mind reminds him, and he rolls his eyes. “ _Feeling_ ,” he repeats, sighing. His students are crowded around him as he plays with them, and he glances at the clock. 5:10pm. Just 50 minutes more and Minseok will come and pick him up.

Work has been nothing but smooth for Jongin. He loves the kids, and the kids seem to like him as well—according to the other preschool teachers. _“They just lift up whenever you come around, even my kids like you more than they like me,”_ a colleague once said.

 _“I guess I just have an affinity with kids,”_ Jongin always tells them.

But working with kids makes him want to have kids of his own, and the worst part of work is when the parents come to fetch their kids from school. He doesn’t know why he gets so emotional when they leave, but he always finds himself tearing up a little.

He goes to the toilet to check his phone to see if Minseok has texted him, lighting up when he sees a text from the alpha. When he opens the text, he immediately deflates. Minseok isn’t picking him up today.

 

 **Mini:** Hey, sorry I can’t pick you up  
today. Swamped with work. I’ll call  
a cab for you though - get home safe.

 

“That’s fine,” he mutters to himself as he types a quick reply.

 

 **You:** It’s ok, don’t call the cab. I’ll  
take the bus. Take care of yourself  
and remember to eat!

 **Mini:** Too late. 11X1234 will be there  
to pick you up at 6.

 

He pockets his phone without replying.

 

Jongin enters the office unannounced, startling Minseok. “What brings you here?” Minseok asks, looking genuinely surprised.

Jongin rolls his eyes and smiles at the alpha. He lifts a bag of food up and shakes it gently as he walks to the desk to set it down. “Because you don’t ever listen to me when I tell you to eat, I’m here with _seolleongtang_. Again.”

“You took the cab,” Minseok states, raising a brow, “The cab I booked for you to get home. You took it here instead.” He reaches for the food, staring expectantly at Jongin who only shrugs.

“Wanted to see my favourite alpha,” he replies cheekily, sitting down with Minseok. “So, what’s up?”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re wearing the hideous red suit. You only wear the red suit when you’re feeling stressed out about something. Spit it out, old man,” Jongin says, grimacing at Minseok’s maroon blazer hanging off his chair. It has never been his favourite colour.

Minseok leans back in his seat and sighs deeply, food still untouched. “Just a couple of minor setbacks but everything is _fine_ ,” he replies, forcing a smile.

Jongin keeps his eyes trained on the alpha as he takes a bite of his sandwich. Swallowing, he tells Minseok, “Stop whatever you’re doing. Take a deep breath. Talk to me.”

Minseok looks up at him, a sad frown etched on his face. Jongin wants to coo at how cute he looks, but now _probably_ isn’t the time. “Tell me what happened.”

“Long story short, disputes with the client, client has been making ridiculous demands that we cannot give in to, we’re risking this… partnership,” Minseok recounts, massaging his temple. “And I only have till the end of the week to figure shit out.”

Wordlessly, Jongin gets up with his sandwich between his lips and pulls Minseok up. Minseok lets himself get dragged around by the omega, who leads him to the couch and pushes him down on it.

“You have one hour. Sleep,” Jongin says, sandwich now in his hands. Minseok frowns up at him, shaking his head.

“I have work to do. It’s already midweek, and I haven’t gotten much done,” Minseok protests weakly, but Jongin is adamant in making the alpha get some rest.

“You don’t sleep enough, you don’t hydrate yourself, you don’t eat well, the only things you do are talk to me and do your work. That’s not healthy living. One hour won’t do you any harm, and honestly, working in that state? You won’t get anything done with the hour you’re using to rest. You either eat now and sleep, or sleep first and eat when you’re up.”

Minseok pouts at him and Jongin may have melted a little, but he shakes his head to snap out of it and looks away. “Good night.”

He sits in Minseok’s place at the desk, about to look through the papers when he stills. “By the way, is this sensitive info? Can I look through them?”

“No, feel free, maybe you could help me,” Minseok jokes, lying back in the couch. “I’ll get some rest, but only because I know you’re worried and it’s to make you feel better.”

“I’m not worried!” Jongin retorts, cheeks heating up. “I’m just making sure you don’t die before the wedding day.”

“Come on, cut your fake boyfriend some slack, just say you love me and I’ll go to sleep,” Minseok calls, a glint in his voice as Jongin sinks deeper into his seat.

“I hate you.”

 

An hour passes really fast when you actually have something to do, Jongin comes to realise. It’s not like he knows what Minseok’s supposed to do, but he’s taken the liberty of arranging them according to the notes on the table, and making his own notes just in case he sorted them incorrectly. Also, reading through everything gave him insight to what Minseok has to do, but it’s still a little confusing to him.

He pads quietly over to the alpha, wondering if he should wake him up like he (kind of) promised, but Minseok looks so peaceful in his sleep, facial features relaxed and a small smile playing on his lips—Jongin doesn’t want to interrupt his slumber.

Making himself comfortable on the carpeted floor, he leans against the couch, resting his cheek on the seat as he gently brushes the stray hairs away from Minseok’s eyes. Closing his eyes, he tells himself it’ll just be a moment before he wakes the alpha up.

 

Minseok wakes up to Jongin sprawled on the floor.

 

* * *

 

Home >> Relationships >> Discussion 

**[Serious] How do you come to realise that you like someone romantically?**

Title. I (24m) am having a hard time figuring that out.

Posted 16 hours ago by teacherbear88 - 24 comments - Share

 

lathune - 2h  
[+688] constantly thinking about them is probably the easiest sign to identify.

miraclesarenotreal - 4h  
[+60] if ur thinkin about this then u probably like them

pm-me-books - 3h  
[+3] It's just a feeling, dude

seolleongtanglover - 8h  
[+421] It's different for each person, but here are some basic identifiers that I often find myself following when I have feelings someone. TL;DR: you notice the little things.

He's the first thing on my mind when I wake up. His smile is my favourite thing in the world (waking up next to him is second, although it could easily be first), and I love it when _I'm_ the reason behind it. Oh, his laughter. I could talk about that for days—there's a different kind of laughter for every mood he's in, but the best is when I show him a really funny video and he just _loses_ it. Full on laughter, clutching at his stomach, crinkling around his eyes, throwing his head back without a care about people judging him.

I notice the way he stuffs his hands in his pockets when he's telling a white lie. I notice the way he tucks his hands under his thighs as he sits because he's too shy to ask me to warm him up. I notice when he crosses his arms when he comes across strangers or someone he doesn't like. I notice how he leaves a t-shirt in my closet and takes one of my own, thinking that I won’t notice. 

When he’s upset—thankfully, not often—I want to be the first to know, and I want to be the one to make him smile again. Whenever he cries watching _Hachiko_ for the twentieth time, I just wanna hold him tight and kiss his tears away. It breaks my heart to see him upset, to see the slightest downturn of his lips. 

I constantly bring him up in conversations that aren’t related to him at all. I could be talking to someone about animals and it’ll come to my mind that he likes bears. I’ll be walking on the streets and seeing simple things like a keychain or a pair of socks and I’ll wonder if he’d like it—something I never do, not even for my family. The mere knowledge that I’ll get to see him later in the day makes my heart beat fast, and I’m always reading up on the topics that he likes just so I can watch his eyes light up and listen to him speak so excitedly.

Seriously, I’m too old for this. But having feelings for someone is like that, I guess. Suddenly, you’re a high schooler who gets way too excited about a kiss or a hug. Suddenly, I’m 17 again. But not Mike O’Donnell.

But anyway, sorry for rambling, it’s basically what everyone else said: you just _know_. The fact that you’re asking this means deep down inside, some kind of emotion is already blossoming for him/her. It’s up to you to act on it or lock them away.

 

* * *

 

The day of the wedding could not have come soon enough. Jongin takes a deep breath and stares at himself in mirror as Jongdae lies in bed, texting. “It’s not even your wedding, you need to chill man,” Jongdae mutters.

Jongin reaches for his concealer and dabs a little on his problem areas, sighing. “Today is the day I have to _lie_. Literally the one thing I’m bad at-”

“You’re bad at many other things, but go on.”

“-And I’m lying to _countless_ of people-”

“Small wedding, but do continue.”

“-About having a boyfriend, and my parents _can tell_ if I’m _lying_ -” Jongdae’s palm lands on his mouth, effectively shushing him.

“You need to relax,” Jongdae says slowly, as if he’s speaking to a child. “If you’re uncomfortable with lying, you only need to lie to your relatives who always pester you about dating. It’s okay to come clean to your parents; it’s just a small lie and I’m sure they will understand. You’ve been worrying about this for the last 5 hours—I wish I was joking—and now you need to relax, because I’m pretty sure my brother is already waiting at the lobby.”

Breathing deeply, he checks his outfit one last time before grabbing his phone to text Minseok. He smiles when he sees that the alpha has already texted him, letting his smile fade when he notices Jongdae grinning at him. “Okay, I’ll get going now. See you later,” Jongin says to him, putting his shoes on.

“The way I see it, it’s not really a lie, you know,” Jongdae starts, and Jongin turns to look at him even though he already knows what his best friend is going to say.

“I’m just saying, the two of you have become extremely close in these two months. My brother has had many firsts with you, because he wanted to. You’re literally the first omega he’s dated.”

“We’re fake dating. I don’t think you seem to understand that,” Jongin retorts, getting annoyed. He loves Jongdae to bits, but whenever the latter talks about the possibility of Minseok ever liking him, Jongin tends to drown him out.

“No, _you_ don’t get it. This isn’t a game anymore, Jongin. You’re not dumb—you _know_ my brother has feelings for you. And if you’re just gonna break his heart, you need to end this now,” Jongdae fires back angrily, balling his fists. “You don’t even need him there if you would just stop being a coward and tell them to back off.”

“You know my aunts,” Jongin tried to convince him, but it’s futile.

“I know you could ask them to fuck off and they would because even though they’re assholes, they know when to back off,” Jongdae spits.

“You’re the one who suggested this! You _wanted_ us to be together,” Jongin explains, but Jongdae shakes his head, frowning.

“I wanted it because I thought you could love him back. But now I realise how stupid that sounds, because in the end, everything you’ve done in the past two months was just for show.” Jongdae pushes past him and slips into his footwear, grumbling. “Unbelievable. I can’t believe you would lead him on like that.”

“I won’t even ask you if you love him. I just want to know: do you have feelings for him at all?”

Jongin looks down at his feet, silent. Jongdae is mad. The anger is radiating uncontrollably off of him, but Jongin can’t bring himself to answer. He just wants him to leave.

“I guess I have my answer then. Have fun at the wedding.”

The door closes with a soft click. Jongin sniffles.

 

* * *

 

Queasy. He feels queasy.

“You alright there?”

Jongin forces a smile and nods stiffly, looking around the church. “I’m fine. Just a lot to take in.” When his sister said it was going to be a small wedding, he didn’t expect to see _so many people._ The place is stinking up with alphas and Jongin subtly covers his nose and sighs.

Minseok intertwines his arm with Jongin’s, startling him. “Come on, the ceremony’s about to start.” They walk down to their seats, ignoring the surprised looks on everyone’s faces. He can sense it all—the curiosity, the irritation, the disbelief—and it fuels his… _annoyance_ even more. It’s pathetic. No one’s bothering to mask their pheromones and it makes him sick.

Jongdae’s words from before are still nagging at him, refusing to let him have some peace as they replay in his mind over and over again like a broken record. _You already know my brother likes you._

 _No I didn’t, but thanks for confirming it,_ Jongin thinks, stealing a glance at Minseok. The alpha is listening intently as the priest speaks, and the longing in his eyes makes Jongin wonder if this whole fake dating idea was doomed from the start.

But it does make sense. Why else would Minseok have agreed so easily to this ridiculous plan? As much as he doesn’t want to admit it, Jongdae is right. He never actually needed a date to keep his pestering aunts away, but he accepted Minseok’s help anyway.

“You keep zoning out, are you okay?” Minseok whispers to him discreetly, waking Jongin up from his reverie.

“I’m fine,” he repeats tersely. “I’m okay.”

“That does not sound concerning at all,” Minseok mutters sarcastically. Jongin would’ve laughed if he wasn’t so fixated on Jongdae’s outburst. He remains silent and rigid as his sister recites her wedding vows, suddenly hyper-aware of everything Minseok does.

He’s never been a fan of weddings.

 

If not for his sister, Jongin would’ve left the wedding as soon as it ended. It’s all so suffocating, and he’s constantly feeling like he has something to prove with Minseok being his date for the evening. It's too much. Once the ceremony ends and the crowd is dispersing, Jongin excuses himself to go to the bathroom.

He barges into a cubicle and hastily locks the door, folding his legs up to his chest. He doesn't know what to do. He cannot stop mulling over Jongdae's words and thinking about the forum post he made. It wasn't a very popular post, but there were comments that really helped him—he knows for sure that he likes Minseok now, but he doesn't know if Minseok is... the one. He doesn't know if he's willing to take the risk and be with Minseok; the risk of being the one left behind one day.

He reads the long comment again, unable to resist replying to it because it's admirable, really, how much this user loves the person they're talking about. Meanwhile, Jongin has trouble even admitting to himself, or anyone, that he likes Minseok. After sitting on the toilet seat for five minutes just thinking about how to avoid his relatives, he's about to leave the cubicle, fingers on the handle when he hears the bathroom door open. He doesn't like awkward eye contact with people in the bathroom, so he decides to wait till they leave to come out.

"Did you see Kim Jongin's date? That man is  _hot_."

"How long do you think till Jongin dumps him?"

"Twenty bucks says his date dumps him instead. I give it a week, and I call dibs on the date."

" _No_ way-"

Jongin steps out of the cubicle, clearing his throat. He doesn't even look at the pair of omegas who were talking about him until seconds ago as he washes his hands, clicking his tongue when he realises the soap dispenser is empty. He glances at them, wondering for a moment if he should confront them about what they said, but he ends up not doing it. As he leaves the bathroom, he's unable to resist having the last word. "Dream on about Minseok, by the way. He's  _my_ alpha."

 

He finds Minseok waiting outside the bathroom, typing furiously on his phone. "Did something crop up at work?" Jongin asks, peering at his screen. Minseok pockets his phone, smile looking slightly forced.

"No, work is fine. Everything is well."

"If you say so," Jongin mutters, not bothering to pry as he locks arms with Minseok. "Come on, let's go find the bride."

Jongin wonders for a moment if he should just make a run for it. It shouldn’t matter if he’s there at the wedding since it’s not his, and Minseok doesn’t know anyone here. They aren’t exactly needed here, and Jongin wants to minimise the amount of interaction with anyone who is not family.

Unfortunately for him, Jongah has invited business associates. And unfortunately for him, one of the many contacts recognise Minseok and comes up to them, smiling widely with arms open. “Hey, Minseok! Didn’t expect to see you here,” the man says to them. Jongin forces a smile, grip tightening on Minseok’s arm. “I’m Chanyeol, I know Minseok from college. Nice to meet you…?”

“Jongin. Kim Jongin,” Jongin replies lamely, unable to tear his eyes away from the man’s toothy grin. “Minseok’s uh, boyfriend. I’m the brother of the bride.”

“Boyfriend, huh?” Chanyeol says to Minseok, raising a brow at him, and Minseok laughs. “Yeah, three months and going strong.” He glances at Jongin who doesn’t quite meet his eye.

“That’s a surprise, considering you’ve never been one for relationships,” Chanyeol comments. It’s merely a remark, not meant to insult or compliment, but Jongin feels oddly satisfied knowing he’s pretty much Minseok’s first. “Come on man, tell me more. I need to feed our ex classmates some juicy gossip.”

“I’m so sorry,” Jongin interjects just as Minseok opens his mouth, “But we have to go see my sister.”

“No we don’t, she’s still talking to her parents-in-law,” Minseok says through gritted teeth, pointing his chin at said crowd. His hand slips down to hold Jongin’s and Chanyeol notices it. “Of course I’ll tell you more, it’s only right since we haven’t seen each other in a long time.”

“Noice. So how did y’all meet?” Chanyeol asks. It’s always the same question. _How long have you been together? How did you two meet? Any plans on settling down? First date? Latest date?_ Like it matters to outsiders.

“We met through Jongdae,” Minseok answers, grabbing a champagne flute from the passing waitress. “Jongin and Jongdae are best friends.”

“Jongin is a whole five years younger than you?” Chanyeol says, sounding strangely in awe. “I did _not_  expect that.”

"You say that like five years is a big age gap,” Jongin shoots back, unable to keep the protectiveness out of his voice. Chanyeol puts his hands up in defence, chuckling.

“Hey now,” Chanyeol says, pointing at Jongin, “My girlfriend is also a couple of years older than me. I just didn’t expect it from Minseok. He’s never really liked hanging out with people younger than him. Not even a year apart,” he adds the last part in a whisper, making Jongin laugh.

“Anyway, I’ll leave you guys to it. I would want to know more, but I really have to go now. I’ll text you, Minseok—your number’s still the same, right? See you around. Nice meeting you, Jongin,” Chanyeol rushes out. He pulls Minseok in for a hug and smiles at Jongin once more, power walking away.

“That was… better than expected,” Jongin exhales, glance at Minseok.

“Yeah,” Minseok replies, looking as pale as a sheet, “I did _not_ expect to see him _or_ pull that off. Turns out people don’t actually ask many questions.”

“All our dates wasted,” Jongin jokes, but Minseok doesn’t laugh. Jongin clears his throat.

 

They spend more time at the wedding that Jongin expected to, breezing through all the questions fired at them. All the answers just slip right out of their mouths and it thankfully, isn’t as painful or nerve-wrecking as he expected it to be.

Jongah is not hard to spot, since she's literally the only woman in a white puffy dress. He’s about to approach his sister to congratulate her and let her know they’ll be leaving soon, but someone taps on his shoulder and he turns to see a pair of his aunts. He sighs inwardly, already dreading what’s to come.

“You’ve grown so much since the last time we saw you, Jongin-ah!” The shorter of the two exclaims, completely ignoring Minseok’s presence. She reaches up to pinch his cheeks, but he inches back and resists the urge to roll his eyes, giving them a sloppy smile.

“You just saw me earlier this year and I’m not 12 anymore, but sure,” he bemoans. “I have to go, I’ll catch you guys next time.” He’s about to drag Minseok away but his aunt tsks loudly, and grasps tightly onto his arm.

“You aren’t getting any younger, have you found a mate yet?”

He pries her wrinkly hand off, smiling tightly at her. “Yes, my date is _right beside me_ ,” he says through gritted teeth, “This is Minseok.”

Minseok bows lightly in response, but Jongin’s aunts pay him no heed. It’s infuriating, the way they act like his date isn’t there. He’s torn between forcing an interaction and attempting to leave once more, but Minseok steps up, subtly exuding his pheromones.

“Pleasure to meet you. I’m Minseok, Jongin’s boyfriend,” he greets, extending an arm. Jongin whimpers a little at how assertive his alpha sounds, and he covers it up with a cough. _Boyfriend._ It sounds nice.

“You’re pretty short for an alpha,” the taller of the aunts comments, stuttering. Jongin knows she’s trying to keep her cool in front of the alpha who nearly had them bowing instead, and he chuckles incredulously, about to give them a piece of his mind, but Minseok squeezes his hand and Jongin tries to keep it in.

“You’re not the one I’m dating, so your opinion doesn’t really matter to me,” Minseok dismisses her statement as he stares coldly at them, “Now if you’ll excuse us, we have somewhere to be.”

Without missing a beat, Minseok leads them away, this time without being interrupted. Jongin can feel his anger slowly ebbing away, Jongdae’s words almost irrelevant now, but his aunt _just_ has to have the final say. “You can do so much better, Jongin-ah! If you want to date someone else, just say the word and I’ll- _what do young people call it?_ \- hook you up!”

 _“What’s so good about this alpha that Jongin can’t keep his hands off him?”_ His other aunt says quietly, as if she doesn’t intend on letting Jongin hear her.

Letting go of Minseok’s arm, he turns around and stomps back angrily, growling lowly. “I don’t _need_ you to hook me up with _anyone._ I want you to _stop._ I’m happy with Minseok and it is none of your concern. Show my boyfriend some _respect_ and stop bothering us.”

He’s about to walk away, but all the anger bottled up inside is just begging to be let out. “And _for your information_ , Minseok is the _best_ alpha anyone could have. He’s kind and caring and doesn’t ask me for sex on the first date like all the other alphas you’ve introduced to me. He has basic manners and _oh,_ sends me home to make sure I get home safe—again, unlike all the stupid alphas you’ve made me date.”

His head is throbbing, aching, but he’s not done talking. “So what if he’s shorter? Is that all that matters to you? The first thing you notice is his _height_ and you think he’s _‘not worth it’_ ? Shameless. Leave us alone for God’s sake, he’s my alpha, not yours. What matters is that _I_ like him.”

“Let’s go,” he says in a smaller voice, shy about his outburst as he stalks off with his alpha in tow. People are looking at them and speaking in hushed voices, but he keeps his head held high even though he’s _really_ embarrassed. Thankfully, Minseok notices and caressing his hand with his thumb, smiling.

“It’s not funny,” Jongin mumbles, quickening his steps when he finally sees his sister.

“It’s cute,” Minseok corrects, “We really could’ve just ignored them and left, but thanks for standing up for _your boyfriend._ ”

“We will never speak of that again,” he warns, and moves forward to hug Jongah. “Noona! Congrats on your wedding.”

“Thank you Nini! I’m sorry the wedding’s probably not as small as you thought it’d be,” she says, smiling apologetically as they part. "Hi, Minseok."

Jongin bows to the groom, who reciprocates and gives him a small wave, feeling awkward. He doesn't even remember the groom's name, and it only sinks in now. He doesn't even know his sister as well as he thinks he does.

“It’s fine,” Jongin dismisses her, shaking his head, “It’s your wedding, not mine. There’s nothing to be sorry for.” He feels bad for wanting to leave before even having a proper conversation with his sister, but the arguments with Jongdae and his aunts are still reeling in his mind and the place is chaotic. And really, he just wants to get out of here.

Thankfully, his sister mentions it for him. “You know, if it makes you uncomfortable you can leave now, it’s okay,” she gives him a reassuring smile and places a hand on his forearm. "We can talk tonight. I'm honestly surprised you made it this far."

"Sorry. Just had a fight with our  _peppy_ aunts. God, I can't stand them."

"I didn't wanna invite them, but it's hard not to when mum and dad are always in my face and telling me to invite our extended family because it's "the least we can do". Please, we all know they just want to let the entire world know they're related to us," Jongin complains, rolling her eyes. "Anyway, you may go now. Like I said, never expected you to stay more than an hour."

Placing his hand over hers, he thanks her. “Sorry I can’t stay for long. I’ll tell you more tonight,” he whispers in her ear.

“Boyfriend problems?” She asks softly, giggling. Minseok is watching them somewhat amusedly, and Jongin sighs. “Talk later. Say hi to mum and dad for me.”

 

* * *

  

Jongin has always liked heading home at the end of each day, but today, he’s anticipating it more than ever. It’s only been a couple of hours since he left the comfort of his apartment, but he already misses his bed, being alone. Well, almost alone. Minseok is taking him home, and he has a feeling the alpha plans to stay.

The ride home is quiet, with Minseok humming to some song on the radio that Jongin can’t quite put a finger on. It sounds familiar and Jongin would sing along, but the droning of the male singer is particularly bothersome today and he lowers the volume. Minseok’s humming dies down, and Jongin turns to look at him.

“Are you okay?” Minseok asks carefully. Jongin pouts in response and shakes his head. He knows Minseok’s going to bring up the topic of them fake dating and that he wants to draw the line somewhere, but Jongin doesn’t. He doesn’t want to talk about it yet, at least not today. Not when he doesn’t have a clear mind and hasn’t even figured out how he feels towards the alpha.

“You know we’re gonna have to talk about it,” Minseok says tentatively, and Jongin groans at how the man just _knows_ what he’s thinking about. The car comes to a halt and the both of them alight, with Minseok holding Jongin’s hand. Jongin lets him.

They don’t talk until the both of them hit the bed after stripping down to their inner wear. It’s not unusual for them to share a bed or be intimate to a certain extent, but it feels weird this time round. Minseok slings an arm around Jongin, chest against the omega’s back as he noses the nape of Jongin’s neck like he always does.

“You aren’t very subtle. We should talk,” Minseok murmurs, “I can read you like a book.”

That, for some reason, ticks Jongin off. “No you can’t.”

Minseok pulls away. Jongin still refuses to look at him. “... I’m guessing Jongdae said something he wasn’t supposed to.”

Jongin stills. “So you know,” the alpha states, sitting up. Jongin sits up with him and looks straight at his wall, gripping the sheets. He doesn’t want to do this today. He doesn’t want to do this at all. Not now, not ever.

“Know what?” He asks, feigning ignorance.

“Don’t play dumb with me, Jongin,” Minseok says exasperatedly, facing him. “I was texting my brother earlier and I connected the dots. We’ve been at this for too long, and your sister’s wedding earlier was the reason why we’re even this close now. I need to know where you and I stand now that the wedding is over.”

“Does everything need a label?” Jongin asks, laughing nervously. He immediately regrets his words, but he doesn't correct himself even though he really wants to. Minseok stares at him, unimpressed as he waits for an answer.

“Sorry,” Jongin finally says, looking down at his sheets, he doesn’t know what to say, and yet words are tumbling out of his mouth. All the wrong words are flowing and there's no switch to turn it off. “I need some time to think things through… I’m sorry if I led you on.”

“ _If_ you led me on?” Minseok says incredulously. He stands up abruptly, throwing his clothes on and scoffing at Jongin.

“Wow, I was really fucking stupid to think that at some point in our fake relationship, you might have started to liked me back. _Clearly_ , I was wrong. _Clearly_ , everything we did was for show—from late night talks to spontaneous visits at work, to skinship in the privacy of our homes, where there was _no one_ to prove anything to.”

“You know it’s not like that,” Jongin tries, getting out of bed as well. He feels exposed being the only one in his underwear now, but he shoves the thought aside and focuses on convincing Minseok to stay.

“Then what is it _like_? I feel used, Jongin. I know you’re tired, but I thought that maybe you felt the same way after that loud confession at the church this afternoon. The way you avoided my gaze afterwards and tensed up when I hugged you just now however, has made me realise otherwise. Make up your mind. I’m leaving.”

Minseok's exuding anger makes Jongin hesitant to chase after him as he storms off, and he yells at the already shut door. “I didn’t force you to fall for me! You have no right to be mad when you already knew what you signed up for!”

He throws a pillow at the door and fumes. “You got what you wanted, you dumbass,” he mumbles to himself, falling back in bed. “You’re all alone now.”

 

* * *

 

 

 **Noona:** Call me

 **You:** u call me

 **Noona:** OK

 **Noona** _is calling…_

 

“What do you want,” Jongin grumbles as he stuffs spoonfuls of ice cream into his mouth.

 _“Well hello to you too,”_ Jong-ah greets cheerily, _“About the thing I wanted to talk to you about. Are you free now?”_

“Sadly, I am,” he says dully, stifling a sigh. He doesn’t feel like talking, but he’s been so much of an asshole today and his sister doesn’t deserve that treatment. _Be nice, Jongin, be nice._

 _“Dongwook and I can’t make it to our honeymoon and we can’t cancel. I was hoping you could take it instead, go on a nice trip with your boyfriend and relax a little,”_ Jongah tells him.

“Um,” Jongin licks his lips, “About that.”

_“Trouble in paradise?”_

“Something like that. I’m just having problems with expressing myself in a way that doesn’t hurt anyone,” he replies.

 _“Well, the trip would be a great opportunity for the two of you to make up. And make out. And possibly more,”_ Jongah teases. _“So what’s up?”_

Jongin contemplates telling her about how he was _technically_ using Minseok and how they are actually fake dating, but he decides against it. “I hurt Minseok’s feelings, and Jongdae is disappointed in me. The Kim brothers are both mad at me now.”

_“Knowing you, you either said something really insensitive or didn’t say anything at all.”_

“It was… both?” Jongin sighs frustratedly. “Jongdae asked me how I felt about Minseok and I couldn’t say it to his face. Minseok wanted to... take things further and I said some insensitive stuff and he left. Like, thirty minutes ago.”

There’s a pause before his sister says something. _“Sounds like there’s something you’re not telling me, and I’m not sure I want to know. But I’m sure you know what to do. It’s just a matter of your willingness to put your pride down.”_

“I wish pride wasn’t a thing,” Jongin grumbles, setting the finished pint of ice cream on his bedside table. He curls up in his bed, wishing he never had that discussion with the alpha. It feels so cold and empty without Minseok in it.

_“So it’s settled. You’ll take the trip and take this chance to make up with your alpha. I’ll send you the details tomorrow. Have a good night, Nini.”_

“Wait! When is it?” Jongin asks urgently, “Please tell me it’s not soon because I _just_ started working and my boss will hate me if I suddenly ask for day offs.”

__“_ It’s in about two weeks, from Wednesday to Sunday.” _

“Oh, fuck me.”

 

* * *

 

Jongin takes an entire day to gather up his courage to speak with Jongdae. He rarely has arguments with his best friend, but when he does, it’s _usually_ his fault, sort of like now.

He’s already planned out what to say, but the issue is getting Jongdae to listen to him. Kim Jongdae is as stubborn as anyone can get, and Jongin knows he needs ammunition. He has already messaged Jongdae’s sort-of-boyfriend, Junmyeon, to help make sure Jongdae stays at the latter’s place while Jongin makes his way there.

He can’t confront Jongdae when he’s back at home where Minseok is around, so he has to do it at Junmyeon’s place—who is, thankfully, kind enough to let Jongin do just that. Armed with Jongdae’s favourite cheesecake and a stuffed bear, he takes a deep breath and rings the doorbell.

“Hi,” Junmyeon says when he’s opened the door. “Come in.”

“Thank you,” Jongin says softly, still awkward around Junmyeon. The two of them have never really talked, both of them shy creatures, but Jongin thinks it’s admirable the way Junmyeon likes Jongdae.

“Who is it?” Jongdae’s voice echoes down the hallway. Jongin waves nervously at him when he’s in view, but Jongdae doesn’t bat an eyelash when he turns back around and beckons for Jongin to follow him in.

“I brought cake,” Jongin tells him as he hands over the peace offering, silently rejoicing when Jongdae accepts it, albeit wordlessly. Junmyeon leaves them alone and retreats to his bedroom, kissing Jongdae on the forehead before he leaves. Jongin finds himself looking away. Minseok used to do that to him.

“Before you say anything,” Jongin starts, staring hard at the table in front of him, “I’m sorry. I know I’ve been stupid.”

“Nothing new,” Jongdae replies. Jongin isn’t sure if he’s joking. “I’m just disappointed in you. I can’t believe you would lead my brother on like that.”

“I’m not leading him on. I _like_ him,” Jongin stresses, clasping his hands together. Jongdae raises an eyebrow at that, and Jongin goes on.

“You probably already know what happened the day of the wedding but I’ll just tell it to you anyway. I’ll skip the wedding though because-“

“Just go on.”

“Okay so Minseok came over to my house and we cuddled as usual but then it felt different— _don’t_ ask if it was a good or bad kind of different—and Minseok said ‘we need to talk’ and I was like fuck-”

“Dude, breathe,” Jongdae says, lips twitching into a smile. Jongin laughs and goes on while Jongdae opens the box of cake.

“Anyway, I guess he wanted to take things to the next level and I freaked out, okay? And I said ‘I’m sorry if I led you on’ or something like that and I _didn’t_ _mean it_. I didn’t lead him on, because I wanted him to like me, so it doesn’t count as misleading—does that make sense?”

“I guess it does,” Jongdae says, picking at the cake. “Can we bring this to the kitchen?”

“Yeah,” Jongin replies, getting up and following Jongdae, “So I haven’t spoken to him since that evening and it was honestly the first time I’ve ever seen him so angry and I didn’t see it coming. What if this happens again?”

Jongdae pauses and turns around to look at Jongin. “Like you said so yourself, it’s the first time you’ve seen him so angry. I’ve never heard him lash out at others before, and I’m pretty sure you’re the only person he’s yelled at—nothing to be proud of, by the way. Why do you think it will happen again? Minseok has always been good at controlling his anger, and he only deals with it in his own personal space. He doesn’t just fight with anyone. You pissed him off real bad, and you kinda deserve it.”

“I was _afraid_ , okay? I’ve never liked anyone and I didn’t know what it felt like. I didn’t know what it would entail either. Ugh, my thoughts and feelings are a mess right now. I mean, I know I like Minseok. All other thoughts and feelings are a mess.”

“So what do you want to do now?” Jongdae asks, slicing into the cake. “You’re forgiven, by the way. You didn’t mean to hurt anyone. You’re just an idiot.”

“ _Thank_ you. Turns out my sister can’t go for her honeymoon and wants me to take the trip instead. _Obviously_ I’m gonna take Minseok with me.”

“You say that as if you can make him drop everything and leave just because you want to,” Jongdae snorts, poking at his slice of cake. Jongin stares knowingly at him, and he relents. “Okay, so _maybe_ my brother will do that for you. But you kinda need to let him know beforehand.”

“I will, after I sort everything out,” Jongin promises, sighing somewhat happily. “I missed you! I’m sorry I was an asshole.”

“We didn’t talk for _one_ day.”

“That was too much for me,” Jongin whines, pouting. “So we good now?”

Jongdae nods, munching on his cake. Pleased, Jongin watches as his best friend savours the treat. “Are you staying for long?” Jongdae asks him, and he shakes his head.

“Wouldn’t want to impose any longer. And I have to settle the travel documents with my sister anyway—flights, hotel and all that jazz. Have fun with Junmyeon.”

 

* * *

 

Nearly a week without interaction with Minseok has made him grumpy and irritable. Requesting for three off-days proved to be difficult especially as a new teacher, but ultimately, his boss was kind enough to grant them—unpaid, but Jongin took it anyway.

Jongdae has promised to help with convincing Minseok to take a few days off on the condition that Jongin doesn’t text him crying over Minseok until he’s _actually_ talked to the alpha. Jongin begrudgingly agreed to it, even though he’s dying to talk about Minseok to anyone at all right now.

 

 **You:** Did minseok agree??????

 **Jongdae:** when i said dont cry over  
my brother i meant dont even mention  
him

 **You:** OK but well?????

 **Jongdae:** ya he did

 **Jongdae:** like i told u, 4 DAYS AGO

 **You:** He might’ve changed his mind lol

 **You:** I wanna know how you did it,  
but I also think I don’t want to know

 **Jongdae:** i told him i would help him get  
over u

 **You:** …

 **Jongdae:** sike

 **You:** Not funny. Thanks anyway

 

Now, one day away from their flight, Jongin belatedly realises that he doesn’t know how to break the news to Minseok. Show up at his office and announce that they’re going to Singapore? “Hey pack your shit and let’s leave now”? He texts Jongdae once more for advice, and is promptly replied with a _‘take care of it urself’_.

Looking at the itinerary his sister sent him, he rolls his eyes. _Of course_ she would plan it so meticulously. Singapore has never been on his to-visit list, but after his _extensive_ research on the country, he’s a little excited. Although, he would still choose the Maldives over another city.

He lays in bed and stares at his phone, wondering if he should text the alpha. Confrontation has never been his strong suit, and his fingers hover over the letters for a while before he decides to just do it. It’s not exactly like they haven’t spoken to each other since that day—Jongin texts him once a day to remind him to eat, but that’s about it. He doesn’t expect a reply after the crap he pulled, but it still hurts when he checks his phone at the end of the day and there’s still nothing from Minseok.

 

 **You:** Hey, I know you’re not exactly  
happy with me rn, but can u please  
pack a luggage for a 5 day trip?

 **Mini:** You’re not good at this. Subtlety  
has never been your strong suit.

 **You:** Sorry.

 **Mini:** I wonder what you’re sorry for.

 **You:** please, just see me tomorrow. Let me  
make it up to you :(

 **Mini:** Ok

 

* * *

 

 

Jongin is forgetful.

He knows he’s forgetful, so he makes lists often to help him remember things to do, but he tends to forget that those lists exist as well. And right now, he’s kicking himself for not remembering the most important thing of all—his suppressants. They probably won’t work anymore like the doctor said, but it wouldn’t have hurt to try, and it doesn’t help that his heat is due during their honeymoon.

But he can’t afford to turn back now because that would mean risking the flight, and he doesn’t want to disappoint Minseok any more. He wants to ask Jongdae for help, but knowing Jongdae, he will probably flush the pills down the toilet instead of bringing them to him. Sighing to himself, he texts Minseok to let him know that he’s arrived at the airport and is waiting for him.

He smells the alpha before he sees him. Minseok has always smelled strangely like a bonfire. Woodsy. Today, the scent is stronger than ever, and it makes Jongin wonder if the alpha has been scent masking around him because of he knows about Jongin’s discomfort around alphas.

“Hey,” Jongin greets, smiling nervously. “I’m surprised you weren’t taken aback by this abrupt trip.”

“Jongdae told me,” he replies off-handedly, giving Jongin a once over. “You look… well.” They walk to a cafe to sit and wait till it’s time to check-in.

“Oh please, spare me the niceties,” Jongin chuckles, itching to give Minseok a hug. “You look like shit. Thanks for agreeing to meet with me. And going on this trip with me. My sister couldn’t make it for the honeymoon, so here we are.”

Minseok stops in his tracks. “Oh. I thought you planned this,” he says quietly, and Jongin hears the underlying message. _You don’t care. I’m spending my birthday with you and this is just a free trip to you._

Jongin grabs ahold of Minseok’s arm, nearly dropping his luggage. “No, wait- that’s not what I meant. I’m sorry, I always say the wrong things. I could’ve just said no to Jongah but I took it because I wanted to spend time with you. I’m glad you came, really.”

Jongin entwines his fingers with Minseok’s, gently squeezing the alpha’s hand in hopes that he will understand him, who’s always been bad with words.

Minseok’s fingers remain slack, and Jongin pulls away like he’s been stung. “Sorry.”

“Stop saying sorry for such trivial matters,” Minseok says somewhat coldly, and Jongin sighs inwardly. It’s gonna be a long trip.

The flight to Singapore isn’t a long one—according to Google, it’s just a little over 6 hours, and there’s only a one-hour time zone difference. Jongin knows one of the reasons Jongah chose a nearby country is because she hates jet lag, and he smiles at the thought of it. It’s a simple reason, but one that’s probably enough to influence her honeymoon destination.

The plane ride isn’t as awkward as he expected it to be, because Minseok ends up dozing off—on his shoulder, no less. He drapes a blanket over the alpha, lips quirking into a smile when the alpha unconsciously snuggles closer. Minseok has always been a cuddler, just like Jongin, always craving the physical attention. And it makes Jongin wonder how he was doing during the one week apart from each other.

“Minseok, wake up, we’re here,” Jongin whispers. He really, really wants to card his fingers through Minseok’s unruly bed hair, but he doesn’t because he knows Minseok is still very much mad at him. Minseok stirs in his sleep, rubbing his eyes.

“What time is it?” Minseok yawns, sitting up straight as if he wasn’t just cuddling up to Jongin like a pup.

“I don’t know. Korean time but an hour earlier,” Jongin says, shrugging. “Come on, let’s go. It’s only afternoon, we can check-in and rest, then grab dinner after.”

“Okay.” His tone hasn’t changed since they met, and Jongin is slightly annoyed. Isn’t this enough to show Minseok that he feels the same? He doesn’t want to argue with Minseok on their first day, and it takes a tremendous amount of willpower to stop himself from saying something rash.

Minseok doesn’t even talk to him until they get into a cab, where Jongin tells the cabby their destination in sloppy English. He’s given a curt nod and Jongin leans back in his seat, sighing tiredly. He didn’t get to sleep on the flight here, because he was too aware of Minseok resting on his shoulder and he didn’t want to wake the alpha up.

He turns to look at Minseok, wanting to start a conversation, but the alpha is looking out of the window and obviously avoiding any form of interaction with Jongin. “Look,” Jongin says, hand inching over the leather seat to meet Minseok’s. “We’re here to have a good time, okay? I truly am sorry for what I said that night, and I didn’t mean it. I panicked and said stupid things like I always do, and I- I- ugh. Can we talk back at the hotel?”

Minseok stays silent and Jongin sits back in defeat. “After we nap,” Minseok says, still looking out of the window, and Jongin’s eyes light up. It’s better than nothing.

“Okay.”

 

* * *

 

Jongin already knows that it’s gonna be the Orchid Suite—one king-sized bed. He already knows, and yet, it still surprises him to hear it coming from the receptionist’s mouth. “The Orchid Suite for two, from the 23nd to 27th of March?” She confirms, smiling kindly.

“Yes, thank you,” he replies softly, glancing at Minseok who’s just standing at the side as he waits for Jongin. The hotel looks extravagant and he feels a little uneasy for taking this from his sister, but she has insisted that it’s okay since she can’t get a refund on any of these things.

“Your check-out is at 11am, Sunday. Here are your hotel keys and your room details,” She says, handing him the keys and some paperwork. “Have a pleasant stay, Mr. Kim.”

“Come on, Minseok,” He calls, startling the alpha.

The suite is _huge._ It’s unbelievably big and even has its own living room, coupled with flat screen TVs in _both_ rooms and a fully stocked minibar. He peers into the bathroom out of curiosity and gapes at the sleek looking shower and bathtub, cheeks going red when the idea of bathing with Minseok intrudes his thoughts.

“I’m just gonna take a nap first,” Minseok tells him, already undressed down to his boxers. Jongin flushes and looks away, wondering if Minseok will make him take the couch instead. But when he gets back to the bedroom, he realises that Minseok is the one on the couch.

Gently shaking Minseok, he tells the alpha to take the bed instead.

“I’m just gonna lounge around,” he lies. He’s tired as hell, but he doesn’t want Minseok to be uncomfortable in any way.

“Are you sure you don’t want to get some rest? You haven’t slept for over 12 hours,” Minseok mumbles, the sleep seeping into his voice. It surprises Jongin, because he hasn’t mentioned it to Minseok at all, but he doesn’t probe. Jongdae probably told him.

“It’s okay. I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable around me,” he mumbles the last part, trying not to pout.

Minseok sighs, sitting up. “I’m not uncomfortable around you,” he deadpans, but Jongin shakes his head.

“Your lips twitch when you lie.” Minseok stares at him with a look of—awe? Jongin sits beside him. He feels hot, but the air conditioner is switched on and he tries not to think about it. “Can we have the talk now since we’re already… talking?”

“Fine.” Jongin takes a deep breath and exhales loudly, clasping his hands together.

“Okay. I like you,” Jongin says. A pause. “I didn’t mean it when I said I was sorry for leading you on, because I’m not. I’m glad my actions made you like me, because it was what I wanted. Somewhere along the way, I started to develop feelings for you but I was never conscious of it, because honestly, you’re the first person I’ve ever liked. I didn’t know what it’s like to have feelings for someone until now, and it’s pretty overwhelming, but I’m glad it’s you.”

“It wasn’t until Jongdae snapped at me that I realised I had to give you a proper answer, but I was too in denial to admit it to anyone. I’m sorry,” Jongin confesses, looking down at his lap during his entire monologue. “I like you, a lot. And I hope you still like me too.”

“I don’t,” Minseok says after a beat of silence, and Jongin’s heart drops. He can feel the tears welling up in his eyes, and he’s about to stand up and leave, but Minseok pulls him against his chest and sighs for what seems to be the thousandth time that day. “I don’t just like you, I love you. I love you so much and I was an idiot for thinking I could be satisfied with just fake dating you, and I’m sorry for yelling at you.”

“Thank you for clearing that up,” he adds quietly, kissing the top of Jongin’s head. “Let’s enjoy this trip and put all that behind us now. We all make mistakes.”

“Okay,” Jongin says, smiling sweetly up at Minseok. It was such a simple thing to do, just let Minseok know that he’s sorry and that he feels the same way, but somehow it wasn’t as easy as it sounded. Now that it’s over, though, Jongin cannot be happier, although things still seem slightly awkward between them.

“By the way… my heat will probably come during the trip,” Jongin starts, and Minseok groans loudly, “And I didn’t bring my suppressants with me.”

“Double oof. Did you bring anything to help you with it, at least?” Minseok asks, looking away. “No wonder you smell different.”

“...I brought you.”

“ _Jongin_ ,” Minseok warns lowly, gripping onto his waist and setting the omega on his lap.

“ _Minseok_ ,” Jongin sing-songs, laughing at him. He places his hands on Minseok’s shoulders, looking him in the eye. “I’m serious.”

He leans in to whisper in the alpha’s ear.

“I want you to fuck me _good._ ”

 

* * *

 

Two days.

They’ve spent two days alone in a completely foreign country where no one knows them, and not _once_ has Minseok made a move. Not even a _kiss_.

The first day—or night, rather—was spent walking around, window shopping and eating local delicacies. Minseok held his hand the entire time, but nothing more. On the bright side, Minseok was mostly back to his usual self, but Jongin could tell he was having a hard time keeping himself in check for some reason. Minseok slept on the couch on their first night, and Jongin could barely sleep.

The second day was a complete bore. They went around the city state exploring the tourist attractions and continuing their food journey, but Minseok didn’t seem pleased. He seemed agitated, even, always looking around and growling lowly at whoever looked their way. They ended up heading back to the hotel pretty early, with Minseok tucking him in bed and kissing his forehead good night.

Now on the third day, Jongin is sitting in bed and refusing to leave until Minseok gives him some sort of explanation, but the alpha doesn’t even seem to mind that Jongin wants to stay in.

Rolling his eyes, he gets up and pulling Minseok into the bed with much effort. “What’s up with you?” He asks, annoyed.

“Nothing!” Minseok says, but Jongin isn’t in the mood for this.

“You’ve been acting strange since we came here. You were okay after we had the talk, but then you started acting weird again. Come on, tell me what’s on your mind,” Jongin coaxes, huffing Minseok from the back. Minseok stiffens, and Jongin slowly pulls away, hurt.

“Sorry,” he mutters. “You’re still mad at me. This was a bad idea.”

“No! I’m not baby I swear,” Minseok says, turning around frantically. “I’m just… fuck.” A pause, then a groan.

“You smell so _fucking_ good and you don’t seem to notice that your heat is arriving—I predict some time tonight—and I really didn’t like the way people were eyeing you on the streets, okay? And I’m trying really hard to keep it in but-” Jongin shuts him up with a kiss, lifting himself to sit on Minseok’s lap.

“Don’t keep it in,” Jongin breathes, gripping onto Minseok’s shirt as he dives back into the kiss. Minseok kisses him back just as fervently, as if pouring all his sexual frustration into it and Jongin moans in delight when the alpha bites on his lower lip.

Sex was never something actively on Jongin’s mind. Sure, the alpha is attractive—Minseok has always been appealing to him, but only... aesthetically. It’s never been something he wants from the alpha until he started developing feelings for the man, and now, he wants it bad. Grinding down on Minseok, he pulls away, breathing hard. “Please,” he whines, mouth parted, “It’s so hot.”

Minseok grabs onto his waist and moves them such that he’s leaning against the headboard, grunting as he moves to remove Jongin's top. “Tell me you want me to stop,” Minseok says, fingering the thin material of Jongin’s shirt.

Jongin shakes his head and takes a good look at the alpha, smiling shyly. Even now when he’s seated on top of Minseok, all sweaty and horny, he’s _still_ embarrassed. He doesn’t know what possessed him to kiss Minseok mid-speech, but he couldn’t resist and he doesn't regret it.

“Please,” he says once more, leaning down and mouthing along the side of Minseok’s neck. “Please, Alpha.”

Minseok grunts and flips them over, Jongin flat on the bed as Minseok takes his shirt off. The alpha’s hands wander all over his chest and Jongin squirms in his hold, feeling self-conscious about his body. It’s not as if Minseok hasn’t seen him topless before, but it still bothers him every time. “Don’t hide,” Minseok murmurs, leaning down and kissing him along his collarbones.

“So pretty for me,” Minseok says against his skin, marking his favourite spots; his chest, his stomach, his thighs. Jongin whimpers, back arching up as Minseok kisses down his navel. He’s torn between asking Minseok to fuck him hard and asking him to go slow.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted this for,” Minseok admits hoarsely, pulling Jongin’s briefs down. “I think about fucking you so often, this is literally a dream come true,” he jokes, and Jongin whines shyly. It’s oddly arousing the way Minseok says it, and Jongin finds himself playing along.

“How do you think of taking me? Do you want me from behind, or do you want me to ride you? Or maybe vanilla?” Jongin purrs, sitting up. Minseok makes him feel... oddly confident. The alpha kisses in the insides of his thighs, biting at a particular spot and looking hungrily up at Jongin.

“Ride me, baby,” Minseok groans, hoisting Jongin up. His finger circles the rim of Jongin’s asshole, and Jongin shivers, leaning against Minseok’s chest. “ _Fuck_ , you’re already so wet.”

Jongin ruts pathetically against Minseok’s now unclothed thigh, almost crying as he begs Minseok to do something, _anything_. Minseok slips a finger inside, moaning as Jongin instinctively clenches around him. “Oh baby,” he breathes as the omega continues to rock against him, leaning back to connect his lips with Jongin’s.

He slips another finger in and pumps steadily, eagerly stretching him out. “Can’t wait to feel you around my dick,” he all but growls, and Jongin mewls in response.

“Babe, put it in me,” Jongin pleads, his hair sticking to his forehead as he lazily rides Minseok’s fingers. His mind is a haze and he really wants his release, but he doesn’t want it on Minseok’s fingers. He wants Minseok’s cock. "Fuck, I need your cock,  _please_."

Minseok slowly pulls out his fingers, licking them clean as he stares at Jongin. He leans forward and sloppily sucks at the omega’s neck, claiming him without a second thought. Jongin doesn’t seem to notice as he cries out in pleasure when Minseok enters him slowly, feeling the burn.

“Alpha,” Jongin whines, throwing his head back as Minseok flicks his nipple, a steady hand on his waist. Minseok steadily thrusts upwards, grunting as Jongin sinks down on him.

“You feel so good baby,” Minseok moans lowly, “You’re taking me so well. My gorgeous omega.”

It’s a little sloppy since it’s Jongin’s first time; the rhythm is erratic and he can feel the omega getting tired, but for some reason that turns him on even more. To know that he’s Jongin’s first, to know that Jongin thinks he’s good enough to be his. And then he belatedly realised that he’s not wearing a condom. “Fuck, baby wait-”

Jongin frantically shakes his head, already aware of it. “Morning-after pill, just cum inside me please my alpha,” Jongin whimpers, tiredly riding Minseok. His hand fumbles with his own dick, jerking himself off as Minseok fucks him hard.

“Cum inside me babe,” Jongin moans, clenching around Minseok. “Knot me.”

Minseok releases deep in Jongin, breathing heavily as the omega milks him dry. He laps at the claim mark on Jongin’s neck, wondering if the latter will get mad at him for doing it without his permission, but Jongin seems blissed out as he strokes himself to completion, eyes fluttering shut. Minseok admires his handiwork and replaces Jongin’s hand with his, tugging at the omega’s shaft and thumbing the tip as Jongin trembles and cums, staining Minseok’s shirt.

He smiles when he realises that they _actually_ did it, and gently lifts Jongin up and lays them down on the bed with him spooning Jongin. “Sorry we’re gonna be like this for a while,” Minseok whispers, careful not to startle the omega. Jongin hums in reply and mumbles something that strangely sounds like _I love you_ , but Minseok knows better than to take his word for it in this moment.

“I love you,” he says to Jongin, but he knows the omega is already half asleep.

 

* * *

 

Jongin wakes up with no dick in his ass and pills on the bedside table, coupled with a note. Groggily, he squints at the note and reads it aloud. “Gone out to get breakfast, here are your morning-after pills,” Jongin reads sleepily. He looks down at himself and sees that he’s been cleaned and dressed by Minseok, and he smiles at the thought of his alpha. _His._

His fingers instinctively reach up to the claim mark, and he glances at the morning-after pills. They’re generally hard to get because no one ever refuses to have pups. _Everyone_ wants children, even Jongin. But are they ready for pups?

Minseok comes back ten minutes later with food in hand, and Jongin still hasn’t made a decision. He looks up at Minseok, who’s smiling at him. “Happy birthday,” Jongin says, but there’s no excitement in his voice. He holds up the morning-after pills and smiles wanely. “For your birthday, you get to decide whether you want pups.”

 

Minseok isn’t expecting this conversation. _Of course_ he wants pups, but what is the right answer? “There is no politically correct answer babe, just tell me what you want,” Jongin interrupts his train of thoughts.

“I do,” he says confidently. He wants to start a family with Jongin, and he’s willing to give up everything he has for it. “But not now.”

Jongin lowers his hand, frowning slightly. “What?”

Setting the food on the table, he crawls into bed and sits beside Jongin, who leans onto him sadly. “I know you want pups, I do, too. But it’s your heat talking,” he says gently, “We aren’t even officially together—I will ask you once you’re fully conscious—but Jongin, your heat has already started. Take the pills, baby, we can think about the rest later.”

“Promise to take care of me forever and ever,” Jongin pouts childishly, and Minseok knows he’s slowly beginning to lose it. “I promise.”

 

Minseok comes to realise that heat sex is tiresome. Jongin is _literally_ insatiable, but it only lasts 24 hours. By the next morning, his heat is gone and Jongin refuses to come out of the toilet. “Baby,” Minseok says, knocking gently on the bathroom door, “Come on out. It’s okay.”

“It’s embarrassing!” Jongin shouts, and Minseok chuckles. “There’s nothing to be embarrassed about. It’s in our nature. Also, we _really_ have to check-out soon so _please_ come out. We can talk about it on the way to the airport.”

“If it helps, you’re really good in bed,” Minseok adds, smirking behind the door. Jongin doesn’t say anything, but Minseok can hear him sniffling.

“Come on baby,” he says in a gentler tone, “I love you. There’s nothing you can do that would make me dislike you. You were okay during your heat- more than okay. There’s nothing to worry about, ok?”

It takes a while to convince Jongin to come out, but he finally does, teary-eyed. Minseok’s heart sinks when he sees how puffy Jongin’s eyes are and he immediately regrets helping Jongin out with his heat. If he’d known Jongin would be so insecure about himself, he wouldn’t have done it.

“I don’t regret it,” Jongin sniffles, and Minseok sighs in relief, “I’m just embarrassed. I’ve never… it’s my first time, you know that, and it only lasted a day—on _your_ birthday! That’s not normal! And look at all the claw marks on your back!”

“I think they’re hot,” Minseok say, shrugging. He moves forward to envelope Jongin in a hug, patting his back. “And it’s okay, it was a birthday well spent. Also, heats don’t always last weeks, as far as I know. It’s probably the side effect of your suppressants, but I’m sure it’s normal. We can check in with Doctor Bae or Doctor Kang when we get back, okay? How are you feeling?”

“Like shit,” Jongin says into Minseok’s chest, voice muffled. He pulls away and sighs. “I mean physically, I’m okay. Just a little worn out. Did I say anything stupid during my heat?”

 _You may have told me that you love me a dozen times,_ Minseok wants to say, but he keeps it to himself instead and shakes his head no. “You are pretty vocal in bed, though,” he replies, winking.

Hands still perched on Jongin’s waist, he reaches up to push Jongin’s hair aside, tucking it at the back of his ear. “I love you. It’s okay if you don’t feel comfortable saying it back now, but I just want you to know. Nothing can ever keep us apart.”

“Thank you,” Jongin says earnestly, leaning down a little to peck Minseok on the cheek. Jongin has never pegged the alpha for a sap, but he likes it. He likes that Minseok is unafraid to wear his heart on his sleeve.

“Say, Kim Jongin, will you be my boyfriend, for real this time?” Minseok asks nervously.

"A little backwards aren't you, Mr. Kim, claiming me before asking me to be your boyfriend? What am I gonna do, say no?” Jongin laughs, and Minseok doesn’t get the second part of what he said, but he smiles fondly at the omega as he waits patiently for a reply.

“Yes,” Jongin squeals, kissing Minseok full on the lips. “A thousand times over.”


End file.
